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Toothless M


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Shaandaar - If you watch it, then pray for disaster

By: Toothless Posted Nov 03, 2015 General 481 Views

I wanted to write a review, but I decided against it. Because the movie I am going to talk about is not worth even a single brain cell. I love watching movies and I had thought so far that there are three types of movies: Good, Bad and “So bad that they are good.” An example of a good movie in my books would be Khosla ka Ghosla, a bad movie would be “Happy New Year” and an example of a movie so bad that it is good would be “SharkNado” where sharks from the ocean get sucked into a giant tornado which throws them over the streets of Los Angeles where they feast on the inhabitants – I am not making this up, search on google if you don’t believe me.

The 4th kind of movie is called "Shaandaar" which is the latest Shahid(Dracula) Kapoor - Alia(bird brain) Bhatt starer. If we were to place movies on a pyramid based on their rating, with the bad movies close to the ground level and good movies towards the apex, then Shaandaar would be buried 100 meters below the Mariana Trench. The story has no merit and I think the script writer does not even have the IQ of a popup toaster. I will not go into the details of the movie and urge you to save some money by not watching it at the cinema and save some time by not watching it on TV.

My story here although not a movie review- has a lot to do with this movie. Last Saturday, as usual everyone in the family wanted to do something that the others did not like. The solution was to do something that no one liked and so we decided to watch this movie. I did not read the reviews, however my wife warned me that the movie may not be great. So we went, "the three of us" to the cinema. I purchased the tickets – the damage was$28. Of course it never ends with the tickets – one has to buy popcorn too which cost me nearly as much and half a kidney.

The movie started and straight away we all were very bored. I wanted to get out of the hall, so did my wife and so did my son, however none of us wanted to make the first move. So we endured the relentless torture for an hour and a half and then boom, the movie stopped. In the US, movies do not have an intermission, however when they play Hindi movies, at times they include an intermission. I thought it was an intermission, but there was nothing on the screen and no audio.

A gentleman from the audience stood up and reported the issue, it turned out that there was some technical problem. Woooow what a relief, a technician came in and said that the movie cannot go on, but our money will be refunded, added to that we will get one free ticket each to watch any movie of our choice. What a jackpot I thought. We were about 10 people in the hall and perhaps the only 10 people to have watched this infantile nonsense of a movie and leave the theater with smiles so luminous which otherwise could only be seen in toothpaste advertisements.

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