Ok !

The post should have been titled as +++ I love rain +++ !
But then when we speak about indulgences, it needs to be above ordinary.

I could have titled this post as +++Rain is Fun+++ !
But then Im not going to talk here about getting wet and having some pakodas and bhuttas.

Never thought of naming this post as +++Raindrops are like good friends+++
But then my indulgences are about doing some things alone in the rain.

I wish I could have posted this diary as +++ Baarish ki antar-kathayen+++
But Im very bad at telling my katha so forget about telling baarish ki antar-katha.

I wanted to title this as +++Competition for naming top 10 activities that you like to do in rain +++
But then I ran out of patience to read all the entries.

So I kept it simple and titled it as "Rain Indulgences" !

Food : No post of mine cud be ever complete without simple mention of delectable food. So the first rain indulgence is to head out to a raodside dhaba selling the tandoori chicken. Drive ur car across the muddy roads and order a complete tandoori murgi. Sit on the khatiya in indian style and devour the hot, juicy murgi with both the hands. If u still think pakoda is rain indulgence, go ahead.

Pampering : Swim for an hour, exhaust yourself. Move to a kerala spa and get yourself on their wooden table. Get hammered in the ayurvedic oil, let the 2 keralites pummel your body for an hour. Take a bath with cold shower, gulp down God's own drink and sleep as long as u wish sleeping like.

Getting wet : Go to a place where no one is close by...get into or get out of the basics, lay on the ground and enjoy the raindrops all over...

Personal and behind the doors : Pull out a DVD of "Desprado", caress the hayek baby and kill the crap.

Steamy rain : Most of the accidents happen on the backseat of a car. Do a crashcourse immemdiately. Clean the seat covers and head back home.

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I never chanted his name for years, never went to his temples to pray. But somehow I managed to meet him one day on a saturday afternoon.

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"Zuludancing, there have been no posts from you in recent past. There are no reviews on anything under the sun from your pen. Whats happening ?"

I replied "Erectile dysfunction with the brain and mind."

"Thats quite weird,I have never seen someone suffering from such a dysfunction above waist. Tell me how may i treat you"

"God. I am not getting any rush of blood to my creative brain these days"

" Dont fool me with the words, consult your Doctor. If anything other things are there, tell me. I all here for you"

" Im feeling only one faceted, like a horse tied to a horse-cart who can look only in one direction. I feel my writing is getting monotonous with twists, turns, bits of silly jokes here n there. Twists and turns are a big flop these days, "Race" flopped because of that."

"Come on, what it has got to do with Race and movies ?"

"It has to do with movies only, I can write only because movies give me a lots of ideas to write my reviews.

You see, all comedy movies of Priydarshan have flopped these days, David Dhawan is so out of business that he had even judged a dance competition, nobody even remembers who was Neeraj Vora.

People are moving more towards movies that discuss real life.."

"Real life ? like ?"

"Like they are talking about diseases across all age groups and curing them without godly charms. Like they are talking about romance pre and post marriage , duties of husband, his fallacies. They are talking about a tough life in metro.

Everyone is telling me about the hardships of life without knowing that I have been going thru the same things all along. I have had bitter stories to tell, painful heart-breaks to sing sorrow songs about, philosophies of life that i have learnt by falling down and hurting myself."

"What do you want to tell ?"

"Why do poor Priydarshan and David Dhawan should suffer becuase life has been all unfair ?"

" Zuludancing, do you see speed-breakers on the roads you drive. Priydarshans and David Dhawans are like  mega-express highways, they would go on. Singers of sorrow, painful life are like speedbreakers. They would come and go by slowing you for a moment. But the road is all yours, remember !"

"Dhanyavad bhagwan, tumne to meri aakhen khol di. Tumhara ehsaan mein kaise bhool sakta hoon ? Tum to gyani ho..."

"Ghadi ghadi drama karta hai..."

"who ? me... ?"

"And let me go know, someone is busy writing another script about fallcies of life. I have to help him by giving him another bitter lesson of life .

Keep smiling, doosaron farak pade ya na pade, tu to Happy hai !"

Type of Posters and Imposters at Mouthshut !

Decide. declare, divide yourself and ourseleves into proper categories !

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KPGK   : Khao Piyo Gandagi Karo

Shishe ke bottle me raho aur flush mat karo !
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WWKCA : WordsWorth ki Chati Aulad

Madhuri Dixit mili raste me..
Khaye chane humne saste me...
Usne kahan mere sang shadi manau.
Ghar aake tere me parathe pakau...
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KGKC  : Khalil Gibran Ke Chele

Life is a lemon and I want my money back..back..back..
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OPFMM : Office Pays For My Mouthshut

I write free at Mouthshut, but my office pays for such free writing
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ABS

Affected by Blocking syndrome
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DTB : Dumber Than Blondes

Dumb and dumber ! Dont look at our hair colour.
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SKMKA : Spamming Ke Maa Ki Aankh

We take an Oath to flood Mouthshut with Forwarded mails that are read by others for last 17 years.
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AGG : Aaye Garden me Ghumne

Mein to raste se ja raha tha, mein to ice-cream kha raha tha...mouthshut par ladki dikhi to mein yahan rahoon !
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WVO : We Value Ourselves
 
Baki ka kuda-kachara count urself here !
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* Mccullum was a surprise ! Maal saste me mila !

* Mccullum showed how to kick where it hurts !

* He gave me the adrenal rush..

* Ganguly continued his Captain form; excellent captain, failed individual as a batsman

* Ajit Agarkar is stil alive and he is still lucky to get wickets.

* SRK shall be a hard task-master, but there shall be fun @ d workplace.

* Arjun Rampal is an Escort to SRK

* Dravid's stump routed by Ishant Sharma gave me a sadistic pleasure

* Dravid stood by a saying in hindi "Jaisa raja waisi Praja" ... Looser always a looser

* I laughed out loud abt Dravid as Captain of 20-20 side. The guy is kicked out of 50 over format...Intellectual poverty @ Bangalore ?

* The adrenal rush by IPL format would increase beer sales, Mallya is a damm good businessman. Let any team win, I will make money. Hats off !

* Cheerleaders were "simply" clad.

* We need wrestling style commentry for IPL. The existing team is just of place.      

If MS poets are dam water, my city is completly flooded now !

If MS poets are tandoori chicken, I've been told about the bird-flu is bad for human beings.

If MS poets are Indo-US nuclear deal, Im joining CPM.

If MS poets are stock-market, Im "short" in the market.

If MS poets are Carla Bruni, Im ready to join the British press.

If MS poets are wishing me on my Birthday, I was born on 30th February.

If MS poets are sugar, Im already suffering from diabetes.

If MS poets are all about love, Im a Sanyasi.

If MS poets are about wisdom of life, I love the taste of poison.

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Maann ! Im loving this diary thingy.. I can post whatever I want ! Thanks mouthshut for a significant change in your business model.

1. Behind every successful man, there is one woman !

2. Behind every failed man, there are two women !

3. Behind every happy woman, there is one exhausted man ! Oye pape !

4. Behind every successful woman, there is a good kamwali maid !

Now two paramount questions to be answered by the MS diary posters and re-posters..

1. Who is behind every successful gay ?

2. Who is behind every failed gay ?

And the diary-aa continues on Gifts at MS ...

- Waiting for paul to write a statistical diary on no. and type of gits so far given-exchanged on Mouthshut

- Waiting for Lyla to come up and donate all the points to the needy and habitual gifters at MS

- Waiting for Jasmine to create a "dust-bin" as a "dust-bin" for dumping all the un-accepted gifts

- Waiting for a virtual kabadi to open a kabadi shop at MS

- Waiting for addition of more intimate and explicit gifts on MS so that sales of dust-bins and kabadi are boosted...

- Waiting for a virtual "asset" market at MS so that i can sell my Beach villa at an appreciated price (Credit : Farooq bhai) and hey i can afford a beach villa

- Waiting for a party at the beach villa..

- Look my intentions are right...

 

 

Money is Bollywood

Money is IPL

so Bollywood = IPL

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The Indian Premier League presents to you the "balliwood" movies...

* Starring Andrew Symonds : Swing it like Symonds :

This movie is an effort from IPL to re-make the Tarzen with new concepts.
Symonds to be shown swinging with our and his ancestors (too) in the aussie jungles. He is then discovered by IPL for his xtra-ordinary swinging talents and taken to the urbanisation "hyderabad"...now he is shown swinging on Minars of Charmonars...

* Starring Ricky Ponting : Point it like Ponting

He is the paanwala from Mumbai characterised by continuous jabbering and his experites at showing fingers to people asking for directions. This talent is noticed and he picked up for IPL.

Indian money points a middle finger !

* Starring Mat Hayden : Hare Rama Hare Krishna

No theme except he is shown addict to smoking a weed. Everything is out of context here.

* Starring Dhoni : Dudh ka Paisa

I swear there was a movie called Doodh ka Karz...if Karz can be re-made, why cant we say Dudh ka Paisa ? Ye paisa bolta hai...

* Starring Muralidharan : Ramayan II

This time the Srilankans come to India for money-roopi Sita !

* Starring Sachin Tendulkar : Kal , aaj aur Kal

Would play all three generations of cricket for 70 years. Would be seen playing under Captaincy of  great-great grandchildren of Ishant Sharma. However, still useful !

* Starring Glenn Mcgrath : Lawaris

No bids poor chap !

* Starring Mohd. Yousuf : Na ghar ka na ghat ka

Need i say more !

Over a period of last 7 days, my diary abt what i have done and what one can do while waiting @ the traffic signal :

1.Try to guess the real "gender" of the eunuch who is trying to bless you or curse you

2. Watching the babe hugging the biker next to you and saying "sala, paisa feko tamasha feko"

3. Trying to sneak in the cab on your right hand side to find nothing

4. Pity the disabled beggar and offering him money to keep the "disabled humanity" in u alive

5. Negotiate for a bunch of red rose bunch costing a bomb at signal and breaking the deal by saying "Mein kya ******* hoon ?"

6. Cursing China for sending 10 rupaye ka non-sense "pilastic" ka items like a nimbu-mirchi keychain, painting books

7. Blaming the broken infrastructure and government for keeping u waiting at the traffic signal

8. Trying to re-look at the babe on bike and finding she is not caring to look at you even when you are riding in a large sedan

9. Frusturating "Im hundred time better than that monkey"...and realising...u r openly blinded in love....

10. Trying to teach another car driver abt "car honking" guidelines ...

11. Changing radio stations to get rid of non-sense RJs

12. Blaming the biker babe for traffic jam and accidents...

13. Forgetting 1 to 12 in a whisker after seeing Green and zooming ahead to next signal to repeat 1 to 12 !