It is yet another day
An year gets added and there is no special way.
Life moves on and years go by
But this one day is just a reminder of thy

The day you came into existence and was blessed with life.
But then this year has a special significance
You have an addition to your existence.

A soul made in heaven
Has become your own.
I know its never too late
But yet I am little delayed.

So this one comes especially for you
As you tread down the path of life in concert
I wish that love and luck shades you from all qualms.
Embrace life as it comes , not letting it slip from your arms.

Dear Bhupesh
Wishing a Happy Married Life and a belated Birthday to you!

Married on 06/10 and born on 08/10

So much talk about Love, cherishing moments, break-ups, hanging on to memories and a line on a fellow Msian's profile triggers of this diary post :
When we say that a person is desirable what we mean that he or she is desired by others and henceforth we desire him/her too.

It is so true that for those who do not complete certain parameters or standards so defined by these desirable people always take a backseat. Though am sure they are still folks around who have the best argument that inner beauty matters more than the outer one; but give them a print of Maxim, Vogue or so on and see the tongues hanging out. All kind of fundas and reasoning of being the ideal one with superlative thought process, is long forgotten. On the same lines a medium built average looking guy(who is your very own) always fails in front of the standard Mills & Boon Tall, dark ,handsome stranger.

There is a thin line between chasing a dream and chasing a myth for that castle which appears might be built without foundation. Everybody desires for that moon coz beauty always has a way of catching attention, but probably a nearer view might not appear as rosy as that. A chase would moor them on a transient spot. But what the hell? The spot is too picturesque to evade and it lures one and all. The caution board falls on the blind spot and they happily tread into a mirage.

Beauty needs to be appreciated but then on the other hand whatever that shines may not be a diamond. For they fail to understand that these desirables have many options while for the very own the sun might be rising with the beloved and setting with him/her. Desirables have a bit too much on their plate to appreciate an added dish while the Very Own probably has only one indulgence. A delicacy achieved after a lot of labor and toil. And hence he/she knows how to value it more than his/her life. And no love or affection gets its deliverance till it is valued truly. As putting it aptly:
“Thou shall not fall in love with a callous fairy; a generous beast will worship thy better”

I feel as light as a feather, floating in the air of nothingness. All I can see is a white cloud which envelopes me in its embrace. A sudden feeling of peace descends me and I just give away to it. I want to be in this feeling forever where no hatred, despair or sorrow can penetrate.

Out of the blue I feel like being that Rock which has stood there for years unaffected by waves and its tirade. The way it silently watches them hitting it day in and day out , but continues to be the same. For it has just learnt that the “Waves suffer more than him and this is a way of their venting out”. Its realization and compassion towards the waves, combined with its duties , just makes it immovable.

Suddenly I feel like a Book, where I can see Trees, Sunlight and Water being important to its existence. The book which got its paper from the tree, the tree which got its nourishment from sun and water. I can feel the beauty of nature within myself. And feel like respecting and taking care of it forever. For it construes my being.
For years I have nurtured the seeds of negativity in form of sadness, despair and hatred, watering them daily. But now I try to make it a restrictive process coz tomorrow I do not want a tree which looms larger than my Life. A Life which is HIS gift to me. I want to appreciate it forever and keep it as a valued possession.

Now I would prefer to be the prolific land in which I sow the seeds of Hope, compassion, love and understanding. Watering it with my smile daily and bringing on a tree which shades all.
I start the process as a singular, for the belief is mine and I trust in its existence forever.

*************************

When you are able to establish yourself in the present moment, you will discover that conditions for your happiness are already there, more than enough for you to be happy. There is no need for you to run. The one who has peace, the one who has happiness, is the one who has stopped...

Maybe among us there is someone who has never paid attention to his heart before. Our heart is a miracle. When I go back to my heart and touch it daily with my mindfulness, I recognise that to have a heart that still functions normally is a real miracle. There are those that do not have that kind of happiness, they do not have a heart that functions normally.

(Excerpt from Thich Nhat Hanh's Under the Banyan Tree)

Dear Maa,

Its your birthday today. Just another year, just another time when I could not be there with you. So many times when I mull over sacrifices, gestures and those small/big things you did for me, I ridicule myself for the carelessness of my part. I don't even remember the moment when I went out of the way to do anything for you. In fact I can remember those umpteenth times when I probably was oblivious to your love and attention.
You were the one who bought me to this world. My identity came into existence because of you. And I can still recollect your favorite statement with which you used to rebuke me, "Maa banogi tab pata chalega maa banane ka dard".And today I know perfectly what its like.
I remember the way I made you dance on my tunes, and did everything possible to make your life hell. I can recollect that how you pleaded and wailed for my life , when I was barely eighteen months old. The time when I had gulped the whole bottle of Glycodin. The way you ran bare feet in scorching heat to the doc to save my life. And 24 years later again you were doing the same. I again became a baby whose life was at risk and you took care of me post-surgery, the same way as I am still your little girl. You sponged me, fed me, even to the point burped me as if I was just few months old.
I remember that how you dressed me up like a doll and always used to make sure that I was saved from "buri nazar", you were always my sheath from all the bad doings and happenings in the world. You were like a strong cover which protected me from all misdoings and mishaps, as much you could. I still remember the way you abused people who even raised a finger on me or stared in my direction. And 30 years later you continue to be my biggest sheath ever.
As I look back and search for a face which gave me all the love, care, concern and guidance; I only find your face. You never got deterred by any hurdles and just continued on the path chosen by you and your principles. And Mom believe it you truly are a WINNER. For you have gained unparallel heights of respect and admiration in the eyes of all your kids.
Today I can proudly pronounce to the world that , This is my Mom, THIS IS MY HEROINE!
Mom I can never even dream of returning what all you have done for me, but All I can say today is that:

Waqt ke harek panne par
Likhe hain jo harf
Meri zindagi hai ussme shamil
Aur meri Maa ke khoon ka ek ek katra
Jo aaj mere mann se nikal kar bikhara.

Happy Birthday Madhu Mummy Amma

Swati

“Only Gals Meet”!!! The sms was enough to create the ripples in the still waters of MS.

Sujata was the first to join the bandwagon “Superb Idea!”, But on Nidhi’s insistence the rendezvous was postponed from 6th to 13th. Hence Saturday the 13th became the d-day.
Sonia mistook me for a kidnapper demanding ransom and tried hard to hide the wariness in her voice. And that’s probably the case she never turned up. I mean who trusts a whole gang of bandit queens. Lolz Sonia I empathize with you completely!

Payal was as eager as she sounded and Girl I take this opportunity to apologize with you profusely. Sorry for the goof-up. We missed you like anything!

Finally after a lot of errors, trials and tosses 11 am was stipulated.

But then when legends meet than the events happen in royal manner
~~After so much predicament I ended up in the wrong market!

~~ Sujata & Sonika were not like I expected!! Sujata is as quaint as a teenager. Yeah believe me guys! She looks more like a student rather than Professor. And Sonika gave me such a wide smile, that wish I could have caught it there and then, and here I thought she was a serious person. And a bear like me was engulfed in a bear hug by both of them!

~~Nidhi and Sweets walked in like as they were meant to be. Can’t describe the warmth I felt on meeting them. Nidhi just dimples on a drop of hat and Sweets were finally visible after a long wait. Nidhi finally met Junior SRK aka my kiddo after a lot of preamble and became her Mausi pronto. Sweets charmed us with her intelligence and the fact that she is studying hard unlike all us “vellas” who are adorning MS all the time.

~~Payal was much awaited and finally it was realized that the right time of the meet could not be conveyed to her :(

So we took off like we were always meant to be and chatted and gossiped and of course b*tchd. For that’s what an only gals party is all about.

But we did have a little more in store for us
~~ Barista had no power or power backup (of course considering the power we generated, they could not stand the blaze..lolz) , and hence an inability of “grinder not working”, lead us to a better place.
~~My taxi got filled up with all happiness and glee as we posted MS mobile reviews on way to Java Green
~~Java Green again looked like a crowded place and we moved on to search for a quiet one.
~~Mcdonalds is where we landed, so much for peace and quietness!!!!With people standing right on your toes!!
~~ I ended up giving piece of my mind to the person attending us and he literally lost his job.
~~We got some bonus burgers and drinks for the inefficiency.
~~Nidhi was soon covered with Abhijay and his dripping cone of ice-cream.
~~We bundled up in the car again cracked some wise ones about “Papa Types”! ;)

And a royal meet ended royally with a hope of another one soon. Try not to guess about the hidden ones, all pun intended!

Aaj ke din main kuch khaas hai kya
Yahan kuch aas paas hai kya
Lagta hai kuch naye sitare jude hain
Mere mann ke aakash par
Aur Chamak rahe hain nirantar……
Out of the blue even in the sunlight, I can see some stars bright
In the galaxy of this universe
They are Unique YET Diverse
They belong all to me
How to gather so many
So I will just stand and stare
And look at their glare, with only my wishes to spare :)

My luv and blessings for Manjit, Debs, Bhupesh & Nidhiand congo for the starship….
Also my sis Sujata joins the galaxy, oops for the omission earlier
May you get many more like this …..

Motherhood and guilt are probably inseparable as skin and soul. With every new day the guilt just adds on more. Even after numerous efforts, all females suffer from so called maternity guilt pangs.

Guilt of not being able to have a healthy and cozy pregnancy, like the ideal one, so depicted in the fables, movies and illusive world. Either you find yourself juggling between job and home, waiting for just the last minute call from the stork. Or the post 30 pregnancy (which has become an average age of bearing kids), ends you up with a critical one and you juggle between hospital and bed rests. On the whole ,again a guilt of not living it up to the full.

In case the child is born with an ailment, God forbid! Again offering the head to be axed, in short taking the blame. “Maybe I did not eat right”, “I forgot to take the pills”, “I never took those regular walks”, and so forth.

Guilt of not being able to be around the kid, and observing the nuances of an infant turning into a toddler. For the job beckons, and its important to earn for the expensive nurture and care. Though the heart yearns to be with the newborn; diaper bills, baby foods, medicines, forthcoming education just trample the yearnings. Yet guilt just keeps on piling up.

Even a rash or injury which he/she took in your absence will just keep on niggling. “I am such an irresponsible mother”, “I am not fit to be” or anything of such sorts which stifles the being.
As they grow bit by bit they pick up the vibes. The remorse pangs ,which are so strong in the air. They utilize it best to their means. In the 2-5 years bracket, it comes in the form of tears . As they progress from 6-10 it becomes a habit, and in quest of nursing the guilt comes candies. Candies in form of expensive toys, gadgets and what nots offered to the kid.

Worst arrives in the form of teenage years( take it 11+). When the whole damn world including the child has a thing to say, to add on to the guilt. She/he picks up wrong company, starts smoking, viewing internet and banned sites. “Such a careless mother, cant she see what the child is up to?”., a snide statement just lands on the conscience like yet another blow. But alas! The candies have become a necessity and now they demand more in form of outings, night outs, and discotheques. A “ no” might get a worst blow like “Mom, do you even care for my happiness”? So might as well save from the embarrassment and do the needful.And also the inhibition and constant scare that the child may search for affection elsewhere, considering its an impressionable age.Who cares for the world, child should be happy, and the guilt needs to be eased.

The matrimony arranged by you for your offspring, gives you yet another ticket to guilt ride. For a marriage gone wrong or an erroneous choice, the mirror starts nagging you again “Did it again, Na?”Or maybe a happy son and working daughter in law bless you with a grandchild. Now he/she is your responsibility. And the voice booms with full resonance, “Today I was not paying attention and he fell down, I am so careless!!”
A vicious circle takes a full and you are back to the square one.

Wish the guilt factor had not been the prime. Wish you had just been an ordinary mother taking pride in bringing a life to earth. Wish you could have realized that the time away was a necessity and not a crime. Wish discipline came casually to you without crushing you with a blame.
Wish you could just be a Mother and not endeavored to be divine.

Yet again I carry the tedious task of Judging
Who am I to say what s good when everybody is at their best?
Yet I try to give a choice
For the one which I feel is closest to my heart.

The special category of Geet Gaata Hoon Main
Bhupesh inaugurated it in the most apt manner
Umesh lovely classic you reminded me of
Maroofa your own creation it seems, great :)
Bhupesh I am impressed with your creativity
Dev I guess the poem fever is catching on you too..:P
Silky this song is my fav song in romantic rain numbers
Javeed & Monoo Same pinch…me too
Metro as expected…
Harry ho ho… I was trying to remember where was rain in this one. Then I could recollect :P
Paul lolz….expect you to come up with an advert
Nidhi good one there but already taken
Lalit , good one there too, reminded me of my fav nursery rhyme pitter patter rain drops
Raj , wow that’s an amazing choice
Aakshat, just made me sooooo senti with Ijaazat song
Fenil, nice pick there
Ateesh, that’s a good one , Debs am sure he is giving an excuse not to participate..lolz

So on and on the winner shines even between the heavy shower of entries:
more...
By: anakhronous | Aug 01, 2008 11:16 AM
yeh saajish hain boondon ki koi khwaahish hain chup chup si
yeh saajish hain boondon ki koi khwaahish hain chup chup si
dekho na dekho na
dekho na dekho na
hawa kuchh haule haule zubaan se kya kuchh bole
kyon duuri hain ab darmayaan

Barnali you always have a way of making me feel belonged to the aura you create. Just the right choice, for the mood and your unperturbed enthusiasm. This one goes for your positive and rosy attitude.

It does not take a brilliance to be a winner
All you need to be is Interestingly Different!
Rain Mela saw its share of joys, celebrations, experiences and musings. Debs thanks to you, but so many times I could actually feel being drenched by the showers! The feeling was unique in its own.
I jutt lobe it category is special for all the more reasons coz it speaks of the emotion most attached with rain, Love. And of course coz it was inaugurated by my dearest pal Silky.

The opening speech and the comments which followed were interestingly heartwarming!
Silky made me yearn for a hot cup of adrak chai, while Barnali watered my mouth with mention of gorom khichuri ar begun bhaja. They also mentioned in unison the music and romance in the air.
Jpmlore came up with the unique one saying how he loved riding a bike in rains , without a raincoat.
Umesh reminded me of the pleasure derived from playing cricket in rain.And Akash just made me yearn for my days of bachelorhood errr spinsterhood..lolz
Nishant & Metro…ahemmmmm.. why speak the obvious?? Lolz
Paul just made me reminisce my old dream of a house with a fire place.
Nidhi like me believes in reading a book while it showers outside.
Raj, Aakshat & Monoo , walk in the rain with a hand to hold is a perfect dream come true!

So who was interestingly different
Just lobe it
By: khulamunh | Aug 01, 2008 04:06 PM
and thank GOD for these ’’simple pleasure’’ he has bestowed us with...
Actually I like to CRY in the rain,as nobody can see my tears(Charlie Chaplin ka quote tha)par massst laga,uthha liya...

It stands out alone with its uniqueness and simplicity. It warmed my heart with its relevance and just made me pick it up as the winner. Also the fact that he confessed that it was a quote from Charlie Chaplin is impressive. Harry Kudos! For using the right words at the right place, its your simplicity combined with presence of mind which brings you out as the winner!

Wish I was a black buck …..This is the thought which enters my mind, every time I pick up the newspaper dailies and read about the overdue cases in the courts of law. Or as a matter of fact anything related to our judiciary system.
Now why I a black buck? Since our country's (f)law system is more concerned about a Black Buck and it’s endangered species. For they are more involved in announcing punishment to Salman and the others involved in the group killing rather than putting Sanjeev Nanda behind the bars. The same Sanjeev Nanda, the head accused who killed 6 people with his BMW, in drunken gory.

Today’s newspapers are filled with the two most respectable lawyers I.U.Khan and R.K. Anand (accused of enforcing the key witness Sunil Kulkarni to turn hostile last year), have been convicted. And what a conviction man? 4 months of being barred from practice and Rs 2000 of fine(!!!??). I felt like laughing out loud and pity them for being so dim-witted. On one side Sanjeev Nanda who committed the crime has been set escort free since nearly 10 years. And to rub on it, the lawyers trying to turn the case in his favor illegally ,are given such ridiculous punishment. I seriously wonder and hope that wish a black buck had been among those 6 human lives. Maybe then they would have got the justice easily.

In our country of Judicious Fools, a cost of endangered species is anyday more than a life of a person below poverty line.

Sanjay Dutt has taken his trips to and fro, for holding that AK 47.And time and again media feeds on his misfortune and system rambles on doing justice. Do they even remember the Gulshan Kumar case? The same Gulshan Kumar who was the highest tax payer of India. The same who was killed mercilessly in a public place and still lies there waiting for his turn to come in the courts of law. I mean who cares if there is a doubt of Dawood, his aliases or Nadeem(who has fled the country forever) being the prime suspects. Who would dare to catch their collar? Some guinea pig like Rauf aka Raja again becomes the one to be slaughtered, probably for being the lowest step in the ladder of crime.

In short ,being in possessions of Arms and Ammunition is a better crime than killing somebody cold-bloodedly.

Just out of context:Not to forget the ridiculous news of a clerk being given two years rigorous imprisonment for taking a bribe of Rs 110 about 19 years back (!!!??). Anybody interested in knowing that how much money was involved in turning Noida into a district of Ghaziabad? And then the sudden backing on the decision? What were the real reasons? Who were the players? And finally whose pocket is filled? Naah!! I guess wrong topic to be touched.

But then who cares pockets are filled, justice takes a toss and Law is the Big Boss