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Who needs MTV?
Jun 25, 2003 03:55 AM 6058 Views
(Updated Jun 25, 2003 05:01 AM)

If only they paid as much attention to crafting the storyline as they did to choreography.oh well.who wants an Oscar when you're already filthy rich. Here is my list of the top ten substitutes for MTV.(Note: the movies with an asterik next to them(*) SUCK so don't go watching the movie just to see the song)


Pakeezah- Chalte Chalte. Meena Kumari the One and Only twirls, the stars twinkle, the fountain pours, the train howls with Meena Kumari's grief in the distance, and the Nawab Sahib goes gluck, gluck, gluck on his hookah.


A few days ago a series of Indian movies were being shown on an American TV channel-with subtitles. I flinched-OMG they have subtitles. Can you imagine my horror( My heart wants, that I will never be sep-a-rated from all my friends.in fun we will remain drowned-drowned always-always.In case you were wondering that's the translation from Dil Chahta Hai) However with Pakeezah I never had to worry. The gracefull-est song in the gracefull-est movie with the gracefull-est actress. Pakeezah's song lyrics have an eerie way of applying to your own life. They pop into my head at the weirdest moments.


Dil Se-Chaiyyan Chaiyyan. All references to toy trains aside, SHAH RUKH SHAH RUKH SHAH RUUUUUKH! As a minor side note, the lyrics aren't too shabby.


Don*-Kha ke paan benaras waala. This is hilarious to watch and avoids the delusions of grandeur that most Bollywood songs have. It glories in being low-brow entertainment. Which is exactly why it is now a classic. Parveen Babi(or is it Zeenat Aman?) and Amitabh Bacchan aren't half as important to this song as the man with the jiggly potbelly is.


Aandhi-Tere Bina. Suchitra Sen and Sanjeev Kumar walk through the craggy, crumbling remains of a stone temple that aptly symbolizes what has happened to their relationship.


Zindagi Aur Khwaabh-Na Jaane Kahan Tum. RAJENDRA KUMAR RAJENDR.ahem. And Meena Kumari too. Could anything be sweeter than the sight of my two favorite actors clutching each other by a river? Well as long as you're not jealous there isn't.


Sangam-Yeh Mera Prem Patr Padh Kar. With their long fluttery ends, saris were invented thousands of years ago specifically for this song by a great trikal darshi, who saw into the future. RAJE. And Vyjanthimala, I think. Not bad, but she will never measure up to Meena Kumari. And she looks terrible in pants. Sixties' heroines and pants don't look to good together.we don't want the Weight Watchers arriving on the scene. The best of all the in-the-middle-of-the-flowers songs. Which is saying a lot.


Fiza-Piya Haji Ali. Shots of the glittery inside of a dome as a tabla rolls in the background, the sea crashing on to the shore. Sorry Premjit, no orgasms here. It doesn't even have a hero or heroine( I can hear some people drawing their breath in shock.and she actually said it was one of the best picturised songs?!?!?!)


Fiza-Aaja Mahiya. Hrithik Roshan and Neha do all the typical dancing routines here.the-running-towards-each-other-routine, the-running-in-the-same-direction routine, the-hug routine, the-dancing-on-billboards routine, the-dancing-in-the-middle-of-traffic routine, the-we-wish-it-was-a-kiss-but-Bombay-censors-won't-let-us-so-we'll-do-something-
even-more-suggestive-instead routine. What makes the song worthwhile is the beat which pulls it all together, Neha's salwar kameezes which match the color of the sky at that particular time of day, and Hrithik Roshan who never looks goofy no matter how goofy his dance routines are. Don't worry, he doesn't deserve capital letters.


Lagaan-Radha Kaise Na Jale. This song bursts on to the screen with several different shades and varying intensities of reds and oranges and yellows. Wakes up your eyes and in the process you get to see some really cool dandiya too.


Milan-Ram Kare Aisa Ho Jaye. Sunil Dutt sings the widowed Nutan to sleep as wind blows through the house and doors shut by themselves.


Chandni*-The Bharatnatyam Music. Sri Devi in white. Granted, some of those moves look more filmi than classical.


K3G*-Kajol in a rainbow of saris and SHAH RUKH. They run through the deserts under a dazzling blue sky and a backdrop of pyramids.  Unfortunately Shah Rukh's see-through shirts are tacky looking. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. SERIOUSLY. Unless you liked Hum Saath Saath Hai


and of course who could forget ek chatur naar.meri pyaari Bindu, meri Bindu re Bindu? See the comments section for more honorable mentions.


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