Whose survival was it anyway?!. Review on Surviving Men - Shobha De

Shobhaa De is superstitious with the alphabet 'S'. It has an uncanny presence in different aspects of her life.

-- Her name starts with **'S'

*-- She founded and edited three magazines starting with 'S'

(Stardust, Society and Sell-ibrity..okay it was Celebrity!)

-- She studied Psychology ( I am not counting the silent 'P')

-- She studied in St. Xavier's college, Mumbai

-- She started writing for television with a serial called 'Swabhimaan'.

-- She is a Saraswat Brahmin by birth (Wiki told me. I never received a proposal from her parents.)

-- All her novels start with 'S'

(Starry Nights, Socialite Evenings, Shooting from the hip, Sultry Days, Sisters, Small Betrayals, Second Thoughts, Selective Memory, Speedpost, Surviving Men, Strange Obessession, Snapshots, Spouse - The truth about marriage)

-- All her novels have strong erotic content which has an origin in a word starting with 'S' again.

My association with her writings was limited to her columns written for various newspapers and magazines. I never actually gathered courage to pick up one of her novels. I knew the fact that she was touted as the Jackie Collins of India. Her slim figure and prominent cheekbones belie the fact that she is more than 60 years old!

In India, erotica has always been a male dominant area. Sardar Hassan Singh Manto and Khushwant Singh are couple of names that come to my mind. So, a lady writing about urban society without any unihibitions and bringing out in the open all the hush hush and taboo that Indian society is accustomed to was path breaking. Here was a lady who knew how to sell as she knew that if anything attracts universal attention, it is SEX.

Surviving Men is akin to a kitty party where Shobhaa De is at the podium. Amidst giggles in the audience, she unleashes her opinion about men while all the women listen with ears open and blodd pumping. She makes sure she never lets the sarcasm die down, the high decibel recede and the impeccable wit sour. Yes, it is grossly exaggerated. But all that is intentional. Men are compared to a dog, they are scorned at, ridiculed, chided and at times carressed. But the sexist tones never sound dull or boring.

She has divided the book into different sections:

~ The question of Man(The hows and whys of men. No. She doesn't talk about venus or mars. She simply questions the existence of men. And if at all they are present, what to do with them!)

~ The portable man (Men in bed, at work, at home, at a holiday. Her observations are very  unique. I really enjoyed reading these chapters.)

~ The Inner man (msyteries, myths, fantasies - the hidden aspects)

~ Surviving Men(the sermon part)

The chapters under these sections themselves are named as if she is talking about men in the same breath as a guniea pig or a piece of furniture or worse garbage. Examples:

-- How to dump a man

-- What does one do with a man?

-- Do men have feelings?

-- Men as mice

*Critical analysis:

*There are books written aiming for booker prizes. There are books written for the elite few. And there are books written for selling. Shobhaa De knows what sells. She never ever tries to be diplomatic. She may perhaps wink every now and then if she was reading out passages from this book. She would also have her tongue firm in cheek, her eyes darting naughtily and her voice bringing out the perfect intonations of what the written word implies. That reminds me she draws remarkably witty parallels between various situations and objects. You cannot ever tell yourself - that was a bad PJ. Never! You would instead go back and re-read and smile.

Being married and like most married men, being at the receiving end of the fair sex, I thoroughly enjoyed the book. If you ever took an X-Ray of a woman's mind, these are exactly the same ideas you would find. She may have vocally or unvocally communicated to you all this at one time or the other.

I was also amused at her dedication of the book to her husband Dilip De with a mention:

To Dilip, for surviving me!

Many, including me, would wonder how she knew men so well if she hadn't watched them on bed, watching TV, inside the bathroom... The only way could be her husband. So, she wanted to make it sound like a pre conceived defensive statement..

Also, expecting the male brickbats, she mentions in her foreword:

Just Kidding! Love ya!

(Love ya? Love whom? The men? Or your hubby?)

Okay Shobhaa, got it. You were kidding. Glad that I read these words before I started reading the book. Else I, as a perfect MCP, would have ordered a fatwa against you. Just kidding! :)

My request:

Women - *Please do not treat this book as a 'How To' book (though the tagline says 'A smart woman's guide to staying at the top'). For ways on staying on top, read Prof ShakoroTTi's review on 'Women on Top'

Men - *Yes, you may whimper if you are a man. But that may happen if you are reading it with a pinch of salt. Treat it as a nagging wife's or girlfriend's catharsis and you would feel better!

NOTE: Watch the cover design carefully...At the back, you have a posterior of a nude male with hands tied at the back. SADISTIC pleasures of the women. Thats exactly what the tone of the book is. But I loved it anyway!