Author's Perspective. Review on Surviving Men - Shobha De

Surviving men is a book where the author writes about her opinions on men. It is an attempt to explain men and understanding him better.

The questions she asks are:

Are men worth the time women spend on them?, Is it possible to actually love a man? Are men any good in bed? Do men have real feelings? etc

What I feel is that a waman thinks surviving man but from mans perspective it would be surviving women. The book is written on authors perspective thoughts about men and related issues which is not true for all and for all situations.

Since the time man and woman came into existence, the gender bias existed. It exists even now. I mean it is bound to happen as man and woman think differently and have different needs. The words like friendship, love, fun etc all has different meanings for the different gender.

I don?t mean to further increase the bias but my aim is to express what I feel is the cause of all problems and misunderstanding between them. Don?t we all have the same thing to say to our spouses or friends of opposite sex ?u don?t understand me? (I have said it so many times) and even when I know there is a difference bound to happen but our nature is such. Nature of man, nature of woman.

Woman feels that the man doesn?t deserve the time which she gives him for the matter she feels he doesn?t love her. So the book has questions like ?Are men worth the time women spend on them?? and frankly speaking even after knowing what men want and what women want the difference still remains. What men want is different, so are the women ready to give in? Sacrificing their want. They may do that but then still their want is not fulfilled and hence gap still remains which if unsaid and is said in some other way like frustration/anger, same is the case of men. I don?t mean to speak psychology here and bore you guys but actually that is what exactly is the problem.

Simply knowing about feelings, needs, wants etc for the opposite sex is not enough you need to provide that. Well I think all of us need to understand that what the other wants and show love that way. The key to happiness is giving and loving but is easy said than done :) I remember I always say and do say now also ?simply saying I love you doesn?t make me feel loved? I thought about it many times why do I say it. And then came to conclusion that I really don?t feel loves saying ?love u? to me seems very artificial if other things which I expect are not done. Similar is the situation of men.

So the questions above does exist for any women and so also for men like what does she want? and other similar questions. The author has thrown her opinion being a woman. But fact is all these conflicts arise because of the difference in our needs and way of feeling love and being understood. If we understand them. then the differences can be minimized, but they will never vanish :) some things have to be compromised, not only in case of marriage but in all relationships between men and women.

Well this is what I think, and I don?t say the author is wrong because she has put in her perspective but yes we can?t call it as guide because what she says is not the truth for all. So nothing like not reading such books but then sticking to your opinions as well is important.

Rachana