SMIRNOFF VODKA Review

I was not always a “Smirnoffian”. My initiation into the world of alcoholic beverages began 7 years ago with Foster’s beer. There were two advantages to this. Firstly, it has a comparatively

lesser alcoholic content which meant that whenever we were sitting as a large group, we could afford to guzzle down at least 2-3 bottles without breaking sweat. Secondly, it was the only “permitted” alcoholic drink in our house dominated largely by my mom’s diktats.

The second phase of my initiation began when I shifted to Mumbai 4 years ago. I was often the sole object of ridicule when I used to booze with friends/colleagues over weekends. They were all battle-hardened veterans and would gulp down “Old Monk” while I was still struck with my lactic beer. My shift to Rum thereafter was more of a forced transition than a voluntary one.

Though I struck to it for the next 2 years, I can’t admit that I actually liked it. It smelt of a pack of dead rats and the taste was too harsh on my throat. Then, Smirnoff happened to me and I loved it right from the first swig. I haven’t touched any other beverage since then except for a couple of occasions when Maddy prevailed upon me to try “Blender’s Pride”.

Sight

Unlike other colourful liquids, this one is almost water-like in clarity. The disturbance or “Nervousness” (as it’s called in a boozer’s parlance) is barely detectable. The very sight of it as it gurgles down gently from the bottle into the glass sets my spirits roaring in anticipation of the high that’s to follow much later.

Smell

Another aspect that I love in Smirnoff. It’s almost aroma-less but for that faint floatation of isopropyl alcohol and to some extent an even more difficult-to-smell dose of sugary syrup. Thankfully, it doesn’t have the disgusting smell of beer, whisky or rum. God has tactically placed our noses so that they jut out of our faces and perform their designated function before the mouth does its ritual chores. So thoughtful of Him.

There were instances when I used to be put off by the strong smell of Rum and actually hold my nose closed while taking the first sip. I’m also glad it isn’t a cheater like that desi daaru (Fenny) from Goa. I was so taken in by its strong “coconutish” aroma that its taste was an anti-climax. Never tried it ever since.

Taste

I used to have Smirnoff with either a lemon based or an orange based mixer but after reading Sri’s masterful review, have struck steadfastly to either “Fanta” or “Mirinda” (Orange). The first touch in the mouth is pleasant and coaxing. There are no unwanted harsh reactions like a revolting throat or shocked eyes. The flavour is sweet, but only just.

After Effects

I avoid drinking like a fish on weekdays as I’m quite susceptible to hangovers the next morning. Smirnoff delivers a donkey’s “kick” and anything in excess of 3-4 pegs for a moderate drinker is sure to result in a splitting headache as the sun rises on the morrow.

When I was into Rum and whisky, the hangovers were more monstrous and terrible. 2 pegs would be enough to give me a sleepless night with my head turning around in 360 degree circles and the whole of the next day would be spent in nursing a migraine headache. On the other hand, Smirnoff is so compatible with my “system” that I can comfortably take upto 6 pegs without being caused any trouble the next day.

Hic...Hic...

When it comes to Vodka, Smirnoff rules! I’ve tried 2-3 other brands but could give me the kind of “value-for-money” satisfaction that Smirnoff gives. Its also one of the few drinks that I’ve come across (apart from Blenders Pride) that can be taken “on-the-rocks” or just with the addition of water and ice. It’s amazingly versatile in terms of blending well with any fruit drink which can’t be said of the others.

I don’t have much of a choice when I booze at bars/pubs/restaurants but if it’s at home, this is my favourite “cocktail” mix – pour the usual quantity of Smirnoff into the glass as you normally do, pour into it the juice from 2 fresh “nimboos”, drop in 4 ice cubes and top it up with a plain fizzy cool drink like Sprite, Mountain Dew or 7-Up. For additional special effects, slice a green chilli vertically and insert it on one side of the glass so that one half of it dangles into the drink. Aah, the feeling is so heavenly!

Still sitting there and reading this with a dumb face? Get moving. Now!