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2.13 

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A letter to Mouthshut members!
Oct 08, 2002 01:37 AM 45917 Views
(Updated Oct 08, 2002 01:41 AM)

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Hello Mouthshut members,


This is not Maddy. This is his secret! You see, he goes around telling everyone that his favourite brand is Blender's Pride. But I was his first love, at least as far as whisky was concerned. He dumped me when he tasted my rival, Blender's Pride. But sometimes, his new love ditches him. That is when he turns towards me. Isn't he a double crossing rascal? Anyway, meet me! I am Royal Challenge Whisky. I have just sneaked out of his bar(yes...he bought me when his trusted Blender's pride ditched him on the last Dry Day. I am always there for my fans....even if they are as useless as Maddy!) I was surprised to find that none of you have written a review on me. You guys are no different! Same like Maddy! So I decided to write a review on myself! It is high time I opened my mouth....at least on mouthshut! How about that?


I am from a 118-year old family. We are known as the house of Shaw Wallace. I have a lot of famous siblings. There is my scotch half-breed brother Findlaters, and there is my sister who is nicknamed White Mischief....but many people believe that by and far, I am the most successful of all the Shaw Wallace children. Nothing remarkable in that, if you ask me! After all, I had all the makings of a winner. I am a blend of the 500-year old tradition called Scotch whisky, and the matured Indian malt whiskies. These two unique tastes are blended in perfect proportion, along with Caramel, neutral alcohol and the State Exercise approved flavours and essences and that is what makes me different....a whisky with a regal taste. Perhaps that is why they named me Royal Challenge. In fact, my success with my deewaanas made my family come out with a beer named after me. Though it did decently well, still, it could not take away the market from Mr.Fosters and Mr.Kingfisher. However, my other two siblings, Mr.Hay and Mr.Wards do enjoy a distinct fan following. As for me, I travel the world as I am exported to many countries across the globe.


I once remember Maddy telling his friends that I am a great whisky. He is a guy who loves or hates a whisky with its very first sip. He feels that the very first sip should go down smoothly. I score on that front. Once you sip me, you will relish the ease with which I soothe your gullet and ease you muscles. My makers ensure that I am trained to make you relax. But I love whisky lovers who know the magic of foreplay. But this foreplay is different. Perhaps I am one of those lovers who can be enjoyed cold. Go ahead! Put some ice in me. Add some fizz. Let the fun flow!


Maddy also believes that whisky is a gentleman's drink. Not that he is a gentleman...(as I told you before, he ditched me for a new babe...the swine) but yes! He does obey the golden rules of enjoying me. He never overdrinks! I have many fans who drink till I force myself out of their mouths. I hate it! How would you like to come out in a vomit? Yuck! I do hope that such drinkers do not insult me and allow me to stay what I am...Royal Challenge! Royalty commands dignity!


I am available in four sizes. Quarter size, where am priced at Rs.110; Half bottle, where I am priced at Rs.220; Full bottle, with a price tag of Rs.440; and lastly in my biggest form- the 1 ltr bottle, priced at Rs.500. These rates take me in the class of Premium Whiskies.


Ok, friends, it was nice talking to you all. I guess it's about time I return back to my bar, as that fatso Maddy will be back anytime. And next time you meet Maddy, be sure to ask for me, and reject that Blender's Pride.


After all, first love is first love! The nasha is something mind blowing!


With lots of love and regards,


Royal Challenge Premium Whisky.


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