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RJ's Honor?

Nov 17, 2003 03:03 PM 17400 views

(Updated Nov 17, 2003 03:03 PM)

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An open letter to the overpaid Radio Jockeys of 91 FM


EPILOGUE: In the beginning, there was hope...a brand new FM channel in Liberalized Bharat, that belted out the best English music from around the world, from the latest ketchup songs to the nostalgiest Sinatra.

Suddenly, it all stopped. And not one RJ protested......


So, how does it feel now that all you RJ's have sold out to the paan-chewing dhoti-clad, fodder-brained junta from the Hindi-spewing Cowbelt?

Even a Down-south Mallu RJ, who can't speak a vernacular word, falling head over heels to play those panzy, bed-wetting ballads from Bollywood....

If you have any English speaking people left in that road-side studio of yours, please convey this message to all your Sponsors, including those Bacardi-nursing MBAs from Hindustan's Liver ...if they think they can sell more soaps or batteries by pandering to their Hinglish Demographic, they are doomed, coz it's the English-thinking folks who blow up our collective expendible incomes in Foodworld to buy their badly packaged crap, not the brain-dead bhayyas who request songs from KKKG, QSQT, KPMG or wherever. Ditto for those boyband-loving Pricky Martins from S.K.U.R.V college requesting Hotel California for the zillion millionth time....

Also, tell those One-minute Managers not to treat English music like sleazy porn, airing it after midnight, so that their target audience can remain celibate during the day listening only to the pure Vernacular and plugging their ears with rolled-up condoms after Twelve oh clock...

Sigh...I know nothing can change these media-buying morons pandering to popular taste, (the very same one that gets criminals elected to the Lok Sabha), but I wonder why none of you RJs, who revel in receiving adoring teddybear letters from nubile nymphets, why none of you even whimpered in protest when Murdoch's minions in Mumbai decided to pull the plug on the Queen's English... Why none of you had the courage of conviction to defend the language in which you think, communicate and even earn your bread?

Remember, what goes around comes around, and the day is not far when all of you (and us) will wake up to 86 sold-out private channels on TV, each outdoing Doordarshan, telling us how to catch rats on Hindoo undivided farmland, so help me god.

You are India's first generation of truly free Radio do something, before your kids don't know Mick Jagger from Manikchand.

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