Road to Orkutland: Besides earthly life, I lived a MS Life doing farm job of sowing thoughtseeds (revus) & reaping harvest (coments). There I met a girl who liked my crop of AamAadmi

stuff & after much interaction via coments & M2M finally asked the dreaded question! – Have you been to Orkutland? ;-) I say No. I alredy had a passport (gmail), She sponsors me a ticket (invite) & I reach orkutland. Initial Verification of credentials (login) took me straight to a vacant property. As real estate cost (server space) is free I built a home (profile) & became a NRO – Non Resident Orkutter!! I am an NRO bcos I have visa (office) restrictions!

A Tour: As I enter orkutland, I go for a self-guided tour. I realize most of orkutters or orkuttians as they call themselves, were pretty much earthlings like me. Everything they do is called as orkutting, though time pass is the word. I am reminded how Swami Sarvesh refered it as ‘chirkutting’. Each had their own reasons for coming here, the most notable one being to ‘find friends’ besides other noble & pervert reasons...each according to his own & I saw them herded at crowded places(communities) . I saw my old mates, so decided to build a home & learnt a crap language they use –Scrap! I felt good to see me connected 64581237 friends thru my 100+ friends, still one feels alone! So numbers do lie unlike hips ;-)

A typical orkut home has the following within a compound of an IE window. At entrance to left top is the name plate, photo. Middle is your house. At right top is a guest house(friends list) & below that are tunnels that act as short cut to reach ur chosen crowds. The house template is same for any aam aadmi or celeb. Your can do interior decoration to make your home better. There is place for photos, videos also. Others can write pleasing things about you on your compound walls, at this you rejoice of having got a ‘testimonial’. People also stick yellow smileys, ice cubes or red hearts to indicate how trusty, cool or sexy you are.

The house has 3 rooms. First hall or the Social room, where you can display your social traits, then study room or Professional room where u can post academic/professional credentials & then a personal room or Bedroom! So called, Since many ppl use this place to list whom they want to sleep with under headers like ‘my dream date’ where one finds celeb names! Guest house can accommodate any number of friends & since guests need not be fed, none has qualms abt adding guests. So even strangers become guests. The only ‘relationship’ word in use here is ‘Guests’ with varying degrees.

Crowds: since there is no section 144 here, people make crowds for the smallest of reasons. Interestingly for everything that happens on earth there is a crowd here, just as everything that happens in/thru orkut esp crime has a social repercussion on earth. Crowds are places where people with something similar get together to feel alone. This is bcos many crowds have no real fellowship or activity. There are crowds appealing to your basest of basic instincts or even for your noblest of thoughts. Some just join crowds for trivial reasons, to feel accepted. There are even ‘Add me’, ‘scrap me’ crowds. Even MS has 2 crowds in its name & I have seen who is who of MS there. If used properly we can gain knowledge, link, acquaintances thru some crowds. Many pervert crowds are also instrumental in leading youth astray by way of capturing as slaves for other evils like porn etc. just browse thru crowds to see millions in search of their identities!! while most ppl I saw were aam aadmis, beware of these characters.

Orkut Beggars: on earth we have people who beg for food, on orkutland we have ppl who beg for love, friendship. You will typically see them go to homes of girls & scrap ‘can I make friendship with you since we both like the color black’ or ‘plz accept my friendship request’ etc. Their preference to beg ONLY at female homes reminded me of our earthly hijdas who only demand from male travelers on trains.

Next interesting variety are the orkut hijdas who have sexual identity crisis. Here you see guys making girl profiles & vice versa. And some even keep on changing their gender. They are also characterized by multiple homes, each used for different motives. One variety of these are orkut parasites who create a lady profile, join too many crowds & start spamming others with ads. Orkut patriots whose duty is to protect their national interests in orkutland. They remind me of armchair anthropologist or environmentalist of earth. You usually see them at fight with Pakistani crowds or sending scraps like “our flag is being burnt, come let us report that crowd”. And then there are orkut terrorists who forward such messages like ‘orkut is going to delete ur home if u don’t forward this’ their aim is only to spread their own fear. The pornographers of the earth use orkut as hunting ground for victims, by creating crowds catering to base instincts. With such ppl in it orkut got an aura of darkness & then God in heaven said “let there be LIGHT” – Daya enters orkut! ;-) now there is Hope!

Scrap: OL is be the scrappiest place in universe, with each second generating so much scrap. I have seen scraps that just say ‘shall we go for lunch’. The guy in next cubicle scraps back “yes lets go”. I wonder what happened to intercom phone or spoken language? girls get more scrap as beggars are plenty. I too got 1000+ scraps in a year, a guest of mine has 40K scraps & is praying for the day orkut announces ‘redeeem ur scraps @ 1 Rs/scrap” ;-) at the end of the day orkut is all scrap, all about scraps. Scraps are like a paper chit thrown on ur home with a message. Earlier one had to travel all the way to the scrappers home to reply, but thanks to advancements in projectile science, now you can write your message on back of the chit(reply) & hurl back from your home itself. such repeated hurlings result in Scrap-chat!

Paradox: as I roam I see a paradox of our times. The guy who doesn’t know his neighbor on earth, has 500 friends, and is part of 300 crowds & scraps the whole world. At the global level we are coming together but as individuals we are drifting away/or into small small groups of narrow identities & orkut too reflects these divisions! I saw a girl who is in crowds like ‘I love god’, ‘no one loves me’ & ‘I want to die’- for every split personality or fickle thoughts there is a crowd on orkut! This makes me think if orkut is an extension of mental asylum that the world is? I decide to pray for them.

Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought – that’s my todays fortune on orkut !! ;-) everyday they you give some feel good sentence like this.. its free ;-)

p.s:  this is dedicated to all aam aadmis (& aurats) of our country, as today, on MS me completes 3yrs & 75th Aluminum review (as platinum is costly) ;-)

Thnks 4 reading, if you been to orkutland do share ur experiences ;-)