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38%
2.15 

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Conspiracy Theory...
Jul 18, 2007 07:51 PM 4087 Views
(Updated Jul 18, 2007 07:59 PM)

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I was again surprised by no rains this weekend too and as we had nothing better to do we just thought of checking out the so called “Most shocking thriller of the year”, by the great Abbas Mastan duo – you will be happy to know that yesterday after reading that word “Duo” I came to know that Abbas and Mastan are two different guys, till now I was under impression that that’s one guy. So, you can imagine how much I know about them. Unfortunately they happen to be my wifey’s all time favorite directors including Priyadarshan and Vidhu Vinod Chopra. Now Priyadarshan and VVC had already broken her heart earlier this year with their masterpieces – So after reading so many reviews on the movie – I took it as a chance to show her that all the directors in Bollywood are going in the same direction these days.


Now you will ask me why I did it? Alright – here is the reason: - So she moves on to Hollywood directors now and I am glad to announce that – the pathetic story and thrill of this movie has really made her move and she is now looking forward to go Hollywood way and I can have my share of “Die Hard” this weekend.


What I hate about Indian thrillersis that they think the audiences are idiots and dumb heads and than they end up opening the full story at the end of it all. C’mon man, we can make out whats happening onscreen and can very well understand, they don’t need to make the hero meet the villain and narrate the full story as how he did what and all – that looks so sick as when bobby tells akshay why he did what he did that I feel like standing up and giving them a tight slap across their faces – not to bobby and akshay but to the directors.


But I sincerely thank to Abbas ji and Mastan ji for making this Most Shocking Thriller of the Year.


Now the thrill continues.


I am not talking about the story or the movie here – I will plainly tell how and what keeps you thrilled to the movie to the last:


You will really be thrilled by the first shot of Dubai and its beautiful beaches.


You don’t need to wear helmets to drive a bike in Dubai.


You can certainly apply for a job with Burger King– Specifically in Dubai as they pay their counter clerks so much that you can than afford to live in one of the biggest and the bestest bungalow as a PG with a “to die for toilet”.


You can follow Egyptian Traditions in Dubaithat too forcefully in the resto’s you visit before your marriage – if you are already married – than too you can take a chance on somebody else that is going before his / her marriage. See traditions shud be same irrespective of the follower being male or female, so you get to dance with a hot girl before somebody breaks a glass(mistakenly) and you move on with your life.


You can shoot a 70 mm movie with a Handy cam, wow that’s great news, now I could think of becoming a director too. Also, even if you’re handy cam is off(read the red LED on top of the camera is off) all the time – still you can shoot the movie.


You can fix up the handy cams in somebody’s house without his knowledge and don’t worry about the power connectivity or batteries as they too get charged by Bluetooth or thru satellite may be Keep recording unlimited footage. Awesome.


You can have free lunch at Hyatt, the great trick taught in the movie.


You can fall in love within one dance(read love at first sight) that too with a guy who wears a half sleeve shirt over a T shirt.


You can have wine all the time as all Rich people drink wine 24/7 – whatever time it may be – have wine at the tea time too – have it in glass – or mug or whatever – wine remains wine however ways you drink it.


You don’t need to learn shooting even if you have to shoot somebody from as long as 30 feet – that too nobody can see you shooting and people start running here and there only after the 3rd shot. ROFL Stuff.


You shoot yourself with a gun keeping it inside your mouth and the window glass behind your head doesn’t breaks but only some blood that too purple in color gets splashed on it.


Your movie shot by handy cam will fetch you awards as big as Oscars without even being released, Bravo, as you are planning to release it worldwide after Goa film festival and there too in the film festival itself you get an award for it. Now Yash Raj and Karan Johars need to learn that from Abbas and Mastan – how to do it. So they can first take all awards than release the movie later.


You can be a millionaire in Dubai reasons unknown and can spend your millions in making a reality movie that too casting none other than Akshay Khanna and Urvashi the model in lead.


You know once the producers and the directors of a movie are killed – all the income from that movie goes to the actors, you don’t know that? Now you know.


You can still finish a movie in 1 hr 19 minutes and make it feel like it lasted minimum 4 hrs to the audiences still looking out clueless at the end of it.(That’s the real thrill)


And the last but not the least– by the time you walk out of the theatre – you see that the torch man showing u the seats at the very start of the movie is running here and there to wake up those 3 guys sleeping in different parts of the theatre. Seems he is thrilled to do that.


That’s – the most shocking thriller of the yearfor you – if you are still not thrilled properly and still want to get thrilled please go ahead and watch it in a theatre running near your house but do it this week itself as it wont last more than this Thursday. As all good things come to an end quickly.


Ratings and Comments are more than welcome.


PS:I came to write here just to drop that percentage of recommendation some more.


PS1:Somehow I missed Rajeev Masands review on this one – I am sure he would have shredded this one into pieces.


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