This 1989 movie is basically about pigeons - not your usual fluttering-about-without-any-purpose types, but pigeons that are extremely social, deliver mail (this was obviously before e-mail caught on), have amazing Technicolour flashbacks of past atrocities, and last but not least - pigeons that NEVER SHIT (this is true - there is nary a trace of the gooey stuff normally associated with this species anywhere in the film)! With this insight, let us take a look at the cast of characters:
Prem - SALMAN KHAN as a spoilt, rich, muscle-bound brat in one of his early appearances. This was before he became a big star and went on to play the spoilt, rich, muscle-bound brat for the rest of his life.
Suman - BHAGYASHREE in her introductory role as the oh-so-sweet girl from a small town. It was due to her saccharine-laden histrionics that this film was the first ever to be rated D (unsuitable for Diabetics of all ages). With her parrot-like nose and cooing talk, it’s no wonder she has all the pigeons on her side throughout the movie. Luckily for us, she DID NOT go on to become a big star, which only goes to prove the existence of a benevolent Creator.
Karan - ALOKNATH of Buniyaad fame in one of his early, less weighty roles as Sumans Dad, a small-town diesel mechanic with a big heart and a paunch to match.
Kumaar Saab - RAJIV VERMA is Prems Dad - a buddy of Karan from the old days and now a rich, successful,ruthless business type.
Bhabhi / Maa / Aunty - REEMA LAGOO in one of her innumerable (and indistinguishable) portrayals of Bhabhi / Maa / Aunty. Here she is Kumaar Saabs wife, Prems Mom, Karans Bhabhi and Aunty to all and sundry.
Manohar - LAXMIKANT BERDE in his first (and unfortunately not last) Hindi-flick appearance as Prems chhaddi-dost / irritating sidekick.
Gulabiya - HUMA KHAN plays the family milkmaid and also Manohars lust (oops, love) interest.
Rahim Chacha - HARISH PATEL is the goody-goody Muslim uncle and Karans friend. His two main raison de etres are: a)To provide the communal counterweight and therefore get across the message of social harmony, & b) To say Ya haul wilakhuwat or something of the sort before saying anything else, so that the audience know his religion, just in case the fake beard (sans moustache) and fake fur topi dont do the job.

Now for the villains:
Ranjeet Saab - AJIT VACHCHANI is a scheming, dirty, rotten scoundrel. A lame excuse (as we shall presently see) of a friend to Kumaar Saab, he is forever plotting in the background to usurp the family’s wealth and thereby ensure unlimited supplies of Scaatch Whisky, Cigars and Bimbettes to aid his future villainies.
Seema - PERVIN DASTUR is Ranjeets daughter and junior Bimbo . She tries hard to gain Prem’s affection or at least his bed, with zero results.
Jivan - MOHNISH BAHL is the last figure in the Triumverate. As Ranjeets scheming, dirty, rotten , scoundrel nephew, he alternates between plotting with his uncle and practising cruelty to Kabootars. The SPCA would have got him for sure, if Salman had failed.

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST:
Pigeon / Kabootar - HANDSOME, as himself. (This is true - this bundle of feathers is actually mentioned in the credits )
With a star cast like that, you probably know the story already, but here’s the long and short of it:
Karan, after many boring flashbacks with Rahim chacha and Suman as helpless audience, decides to take his daughter to the Bada Shehar and deposit her in buddy Kumaar Saabs house , while he goes off to the Gulf to make money out of oil (diesel to be precise, given his stated talents). While he’s there, we are introdued to the rest of the ’family’, including Aunty, Manohar, Gulabiya and Kumaar Saab. Also, Ranjeet limps in (this is a put-on, apparently to gain sympathy, but it doesn’t work - every time one sees him, a strong urge to kick him on the other shin needs to be suppressed) with his daughter. This is where the flick becomes really audience-friendly - every time he limps on to the screen, there’s a screechy snake-like background music score, for easy identification. Seema makes her first low-cut appearance.
Suman promptly goes about spreading her schmaltzy sweetness among the family, upsetting several stomachs in the audience as a result... Anyway, that’s digressing from the point. Soon, it’s time for the darling Beta Prem to come back to India from the US (where else). He returns to all-round adulation and deafening background music. Interestingly, his first encounter with Suman is when he’s taking a leak - but strangely enough, it’s the audience who are pissed when the movie ends! His interests are driving fast cars and blowing the trumpet (his own, most of the time).
Soon enough, they become ’friends’. At this point the janta is introduced to one of the majorly inane ’sayings’ propogated by this film - ’’friendship mein no sorry, no thank you!’’ The only result of this (borrowed) cliche is that one is left feeling very sorry, and no thanks to this film! They then attend a party thrown by Seema, the highlight of which is that we are introduced to the Kabootar, who is rescued by Suman from a slow and agonising end at the hands of Jivan. It thereafter drives the rest of the film to a slow and agonising end, which one makes one wish, if only.... Also, Jivan tries to ’outrage the modesty’ of Suman (which she has loads of anyway, so what’s the big deal), thereby giving the director an opportunity to showcase Prem’s muscles and fighting skills. This could very well have been the starting point for Salman’s ’Grin and Bare it’ obsession.
Now they (Suman and Prem) start to get serious, so it’s song-time galore. First our friend the Kabootar helps to establish long-distance communication links (when Prem is away with his parents on some trip), then then flits back and forth between the lovers until ties are strengthened, all this without pooping even once on the way! Of course, the guy might have been too worried about getting the letter(s) stuck to his beak off, to bother about anything else. Prem gets back and they begin courting. After giving all the trees and bushes in various picturesque spots the customary go-about, they get back and announce their intentions.
All hell breaks loose at this point, as Kumaar Saab wants his son to marry a ’loaded’ babe (one would think Huma Khan to be the obvious choice, but he means in terms of money), i.e. Seema. Just as things are getting very senti and tearful , in walks Karan with bags full of money and hands full of diesel (from hard work). Ranjeet manages to make some downright feudalistic remarks about ’’chhotte gharreeb log’’, etc. and Karan walks off in a huff to his small town, with his daughter in tow.
Prem follows them there and still insists on marrying Suman. This gives Karan a chance to get his own back, and he insists that Prem should prove his ability to maintain a wife by doing hard labour for at least a month and showing him the salary. Since male strippers were not much in demand in those days, Prem goes to work in a quarry (illegal, we presume) owned by Rahim chacha and sweats it out. Interestingly, as yet another audience-friendly gesture, the background music whenever Karan and Prem meet is ’Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’, so that one is aware of their affinity when Prem was a kid. Of course, it could also be that this is Aloknath’s favourite music, and he insisted on it whenever he could and he insisted on it whenever he could

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