Lemme stop you before you watch it. Lemme save you all from the trauma
that is ‘Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna’ a.k.a KANK. Touted as the next big
thing and the most awaited movie of 2006, it falls flat.

The
     
     
      
      
      



     
     
      
      
      



     
     
script is lengthy and the screenplay awful. I am sure a film as big as
this is going to get mixed reviews. It will have believers as well as
opponents.

The
story is all about relationships, infidelity, dishonesty and
heartbreaks. It tracks the lives of two couples. Shahrukh married to
Preity is not so pleased with his married life and detests everything
from Preity’s success to his 5-year-old son’s (played by incredibly
cute Ahsaas) love for violin. On the other hand, you have Abhishek
married to his childhood darling Rani. Rani is living a life full of
queries and self doubt as why she is not able to reciprocate to
Abhishek’s love. And then you have the icon of Bollywood Mr. Amitabh
Bachchan (playing Abhishek’s father) showing a strong sexual drive for
firang babes.

The mess begins when Shahrukh falls in love with
Rani and vice-versa. The movie sinks into a forgettable and stressful
melodrama with raw emotions. With stereotypes and predictable behavior
patterns, the movie takes you through three hours of reckless emotions
and responses.

Now coming to the performances. Amitabh looks
shameful in first-half where all he does is chasing, caressing, and
screwing call girls young enough to play his granddaughters. But you
can see real Amitabh in second-half when he gets sober. His expression
on deathbed restates the fact that he and not Shahrukh is the real
Baadshah of Bollywood.

Preity looks pretty especially in the
scene where she bumps into Shahrukh at the signal. She plays her part
with ease though she does not have much to do in the movie. The only
powerful scene she got to do was when Shahrukh admits to her that he
loves Rani. She slaps him hard on the face before throwing him out of
the house.

Abhishek is loud, irritating and noisy in first-half.
He too follows his dad’s footsteps and gets serious in the second-half.
He gets to do some real acting only in the end and he is superb in
those scenes. He otherwise has no memorable scenes. There is absolutely
no chemistry between both the bachchans as we got to see in ‘Sarkar’.

SRK,
well, SRK is SRK. For people who have even a minuscule liking for him,
do go and watch him. And for people who love him it’s a treat for them.
There is no freshness in his acting. He got to do he is best
(really???) at. He shouts, screams, talks, loves, romances in his
typical eyebrow raised-sympathy seeking ways. Gosh!!! I wonder why? I
wonder when will he stop doing that? I wonder why people call him King
Khan?

Rani is the only saving grace (if there is any) in this
highly over-the-top, overstuffed drama. She is significant and notable.
‘Black’ certainly is her most memorable performance so far. This does
not surpass her work in ‘Black’, though she does not get unobserved
either. The whole movie belonged to her. I personally do not consider
her as one of the best actors of this industry, but at the same time
you cannot ignore her.

Arjun Rampal, Kajol and John Abraham
make guest appearances. I speculate why Arjun went telling everyone who
cared to listen about his so-called great cameo in KANK when the movie
was launched a year back. I mean that role could have been done by any
TDH. There is nothing much to talk about his role. Kajol still spells
magic on screen. In her 2 minutes of dance sequence she got the maximum
number of seetis from audiences.

Finally, the big boss Karan.
What was he thinking when he wrote the script? And what was he thinking
when he executed them? KANK is on a different scale compared to his
previous two directorial ventures (KKHH and K3G). He tried to change
track from romance & relationships in his earlier movies to
marriage and infidelity. The narrative is smooth but the ending
expected. The characters are apt but the characterization fails. There
weren’t enough evidences provided for Shahrukh and Rani to go on
betrayal spree despite their respective doting spouses. And what was
the rational behind giving those kinky dialogues to Amitabh? Karan lost
it this time. The movie might work considering the hype it has created
but Karan is definitely going to lose some of his loyal audiences who
won’t be able to digest those cheap sex jokes given the fact he is
celebrated and renowned only for his family melodramas.

Didn’t
we see some of the best movies ever made in Bollywood this year? ‘Rang
de Basanti’ to start with. Irrational but suave ‘Fanaa’ was better too.
‘Krrish’ was bad but less disappointing. ‘Golmaal’ won’t come closer to
classic comedies of all time but it had its moments. And then of-course
the well-executed ‘Omkara’.

All in all, give it a miss. See ‘Omkara’ instead. Or even ‘Anthony Kaun Hai’.

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