Escapism is the most common folly of human nature; the want of a world of fantasy where one can loose oneself temporarily, freezing the actual demands of the hard reality, and to be able to control that world of fantasy, be what you want to be, is something that all of us fall prey to. This want exhibits very-very different manifestations in different individuals: from making them writers of an originality that surpasses the common writer of this world, to making him schizophrenics that invariably makes their life doubly miserable and making them a threat to the others around them.

With modernization of everything around us, escapism has modernized itself; like a virus mutates itself the moment a large bulk of them have been exposed to a chemical that is a hazard to their existence. There was a time when writing poetry and novels was the only mode of escapism that could have been called common. And for that age, that escapism was not hazardous either.

Today, however, the Internet is the easiest gateway to a world of fantasy which is so fantastic, it’s attraction is possibly unavoidable. It is possibly the only medium through which we can interact with people from all across the globe pretending to be exactly who we choose, lying if we please, about ourselves, without being caught or suspected. It gives us a chance to be who we want to be, rather than who we are, and to project ourselves the way we want ourselves projected in the real society. In it’s own way, it gives the user a good deal of satisfaction to read the other user type from his computer: You’re cool, dude!

I confess I did become an addict to the internet myself, a fellow member of MouthShut a witness to it, and in his own way, my therapist though he does not know that yet. Since I would like him not to know it as well, I shall not disclose his name here. And no, Davieboy, you’re not the one I’m talking about- no offense meant.

Instead of telling you how I felt about the internet and speaking the regular sentimental stuff, let me tell you the strong symptoms of my addiction:

One> It became increasingly essential for me to log on to the internet, read and reply to my mails and check if my online friends are online or not. And if they were, it became obligatory for me to say hello to them no matter how long it took.

Two> What my online friends said about me began to matter a lot to me, and like I try to impress real people around me, I tried to electronically impress those chat-friends of mine in any manner possible; electronic of course.

Three> If a chat-friend of mine did not reply to my IMs of and on, I would feel genuinely angry and neglected like I would feel if Shishir (my best friend in Nagpur) stopped answering my phone calls.

Four> I could not control my anger when someone on the internet said they think I’m a liar or a cheater and this anger would often be let out on people at home who would be at a loss to identify the cause of my frustration.

Five> I began to get personally involved in the comments that appeared on my reviews on MouthShut, not just ’’professionally’’ involved. I would feel a very palpable gush of affection for anyone who said I wrote well and a very nasty gush of loathing for those who said I wasn’t too great. I couldn’t control myself at people who said I copied or expressed incorrect ideas.

Six> I would really feel broken hearted if any of my fellow MSians failed to reply to my M2Ms for a long while and would feel as though I’ve been cut down to size or shown my place incorrectly.

Seven> I actually began taking solace of people on the internet when I encountered something bad in real life like an insult from mates at school or break-ups with my girlfriend (which were often this year) to the extent of really crying on the other’s electronic shoulder.

I don’t know how strong you find this, but personally I feel this is an ugly picture of internet addiction; a picture so ugly, that when I realized all that was going on, I seriously considered myself insane. Insane does not imply crazy as it does to ideas like walking to the moon but insane implies mentally deranged, the term used in the sense as it is used for describing serial killers.

What did I do to control my addiction and bring myself back to normal? Here is a list of those ****** things which that electronic messiah asked me to do:

One> I picked up fights with every one of my chat friends with the intention of doing that and began making them nastier and nastier each time, carefully monitoring the extent to which I become upset. With such a careful observation of myself, the addict in my began shying away.

Two> Whenever a comment appeared on my review, I would ask my father open that web-page and the moment those comments came up on the screen, I had him shut the window off. My mind would rebel angrily the moment that would happen in the beginning. But with very close observation of that rebellion, I managed to shy the addict further.

Three> I wrote on a piece of paper: Chatrooms will kill me. I made dozens of copies of this piece of paper and tacked them to my computer, my fridge, my wardrobe-door, the dressing mirror, the wash-basin, my vehicle and everything that I used. It works. You think it’s funny but that statement has it’s own effect and I did find myself less inclined to joining a chatroom.

Four> I made a list of my internet-girlfriends and showed it to my real girlfriend and told her that had I the money, I would have dated each one of them in their countries. The tremendous temper that she shoved at me scared the internet-hustler in my out of his underwear. Forgive me, my love, but I had to do that to save your teddy-bear from becoming a whacko in the real sense of the term. I kept telling her that each time we met, to the point of hurting her so much that she began crying hysterically. That was the end of my attraction for chatting.

Don’t worry, she was understanding enough and took the reason very sportingly, actually saying that she felt happy about being able to help me out of the slime I was inside.

Five> Each time while using the chat as a tool for chatting with my cousins (real ones) all over the country at local-call rates, one or the other of those e-girlfriends would IM me. As a reply to each of them I’d write in caps and bold: Sorry girl, I’m gay. The insult was so much, I put them all on ignore.

One really has to scare the addict out of oneself because that is the most effective way of controlling an addiction. It is very harsh on you when you actually do it, but the results are more certain and very desirable.

I tried to be as purposeful this time in my review so let me not speak too much before I give you 

Cconclusion

Those things worked for me, because I am gifted with the skill of being able to monitor my own reactions. Self analysis is very difficult, I assure you.

But remember: What worked for me may not work for you. It’s not worth trying too much. If you actually employ what I did for myself and you find yourself falling deeper into frustration and not breaking away from the addiction, cease immideately. It is always a good thing to ask for help rather than doing the wrong things on your own.

I accept I was foolish in doing that without an expert’s advise. But it worked for me. You could try a dilute version