Rejected..... rejected.... rejected... rejected... Review on General Tips on Handling Rejection

I've lost count on how many times life's taken a REJECT stamp and slapped it on my forehead. I've been rejected everywhere.

I've been rejected by schools

I've been rejected by colleges

I've been rejected by people

I've been stood up on dates(the girl told me to come to Pizza Hut and then she went to another place to meet some other guy)

I've been rejected by the government

I've been rejected by the Indian cricket team(which I consider fortunate or my posters would be splattered with dung)

Sometimes I even wonder. if there was an exchange offer for babies. my mother might have traded me in:( in short. I'm a REJECT! EVERYONE REJECTS ME! EVERYTHING REJECTS ME! EVEN FOOD. er.

So. as depression set in, I decided to seek help. I put up an ad in the papers asking people to write to me and give me suggestions on how to handle depression. Here are some of the letters(and suggestions).Letter 1: From a Kurt Cobain fan

Dude. depression dude. it rocks dude. am a reject dude. dude. drink lots of alcohol dude. just drink dude. and smoke up dude. do loads of drugs dude. dude. look at kurt dude. kurt is god dude. take more drugs dude. and take a gun dude. put it in your mouth dude. pull the trigger dude. it's liberation dude. dude. dude.

I tossed that one in the trash can. Am too high on life for that. No matter how many times I'm rejected, will never kill myself. Besides, I dont want my ahem. good looks. to be spoilt by a bullet going through my face. There is a silver lining somewhere and I'm gonna find it. DUDE! SUICIDE IS NOT HAPPENING! Besides. there are already three Devdas movies. dont wanna become the theme for a fourth one.

Letter 2: If you cant beat em. cheat em

Listen man. I know how it is to be rejected. I was rejected once. by this girl. so you know what I did? I dated her sister. and rejected her. it felt soooo good. hahahahahahaha. yes. and then. I dated another girl and rejected her too. ahaaaaahahahahahahaha. and then. another. another. another. now I date many girls at the same time. and do a MASS REJECTION. ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha. take that. and that. hope all of you suffer. haaaaaahahahaha

Good heavens. I dont wanna do that. If it can cut your heart, you'd wish no one else ever went through this pain. I cut this letter up, boiled it, burnt it and then buried it.

Letter 3: From Sister Scarlette

The Lord made us all, child. It is one beautiful planet with flora and fauna and sauna. You should look around and see the suffering and your own suffering shall be less. Embrace life and life will embrace you. God Bless.

Somehow, embracing life was never like embracing a girl. but yeah. atleast this letter made me think. there's so much more to life. birds and trees will never reject you.

Letter 4: From Prof. Shakarotti

The word REJECT comes from a portmanteau of two words. RETARDED INJECTION. ok. technically it is not a portmanteau but I just used the word portmanteau because I have the best vocabulary on earth. To cure this retarded injection you have to first come to my hospital, where i'll give you a normal injection and then bombard your brain with NITROUS OXIDE. aka. laughing gas. muhahahahahahahaha. I used it on everyone who came in. this gas is better than an orGAS-um. laugh my friend. laugh it all off.

Man. this professor is good. laughter. what a great thing. yes. i'm gonna laugh it all off. i'll laugh at those who rejected me. i'll laugh at everything that rejected me. I might look like a loon for doing it but darn. even I have only one life. I'm gonna laugh and make the most of it.

YOU WANNA REJECT ME? GO AHEAD! I DONT CARE. AM GONNA LAUGH IT ALL OFF

~finis~

PS: a portmanteau is when part of a word is joined with part of another word. to make a new word.(see. my reviews are packed with information. useless ones)