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My Types
Feb 26, 2004 06:55 PM 8286 Views
(Updated Feb 26, 2004 07:10 PM)

Dedicated to Sajid Khan


There are some amazing characters. The most irritating ones, I can list so many of them. Yes, I would admit when you first see them on the screen, you laugh or get scared or something but then, remember them after some days, or some time, you would see, HOW IRRITATING THEY ACTUALLY WERE???


But they were irritatingly stupid no doubt.


My knowledge said, there is a tough fight between Hit but irritating film award among two films: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun ( I prefer to remember just Madhuri in it) and Hamara Dil Aapke Paas Hai ( Anil Kapoor, Aishwariya and Puru Rajkumar).


HAHK: those who have been lucky enough to watch this movie ( I know many of you are), just close your eyes for a second, and replace the dog, Tuffy with a sweet pig Babe, in all the acts that Tuffy does. Why just because he is a pig, he can?t be there? He talks, and most of you who watched Babe said he is so sweet, and all. Then why not rich people like HAHK family have Babe as their pet. He talks, and he could have done much more than Tuffy could ever do??? Perhaps could have danced better on that never ending song, with worst lyrics ever- Dhiktana?.( remember Salman singing sadly, Vo Jaanwar, Vo Bezuban?.) and Salman would not have sung with sadness that the animal is dumb !! It is a happy family film, and let?s have Babe there?!!!


HDAPH: The title is so irritating, of this film. As if it is a advertisement of a bank. If you have someone?s heart why you need to say like that? Anyway in this otherwise serious film about how a serious, well-established man in Anil, gives shelter to Ash- a rape victim and tolerates all those weird things ''society? has to offer. But then director thought the subject is heavy. So, there runs a parallel track- a story within a story. And there are whole bunch of buffoons- in Anupam Kher, Johnny Lever, and the whole gang, as Anil?s neighbors.


I cannot write about it, because it is so bad, there is no link, with these scenes and the original story of the film. And believe me, it would bore you to death- the humor or the non-heavy parts. And to top it all, the villain in Puru Rajkumar, scares all by saying just one thing- Namaste?!!! By god, me and all women are scared?.!!


The crown of bad acting goes to indeed -Shakti Kapoor.


Yes, they were hilarious in phases. But then?..in Elan-e-Jung he plays someone called Numbri Das- a contract killer who has this ?scary? habit. Before killing, he brings out a notebook and paper, and does some arithmetic and then tells the victim- Tera Number Aa gaya?!! My goodness, so scary along with his AAAAAAuuu, and Tunna Tunna and Lovely Lo acts???.the are scary?.really scary?


So, was his comedy in a film called Eena Meena Deeka where he plays a beggar named ?Khali??.yes, his buddy Kader Khan played ?Dabba?- in this most irritating film. Since, it was not a Hit, it did not feature with the other two films that I mentioned. Yeah, so Khali, was a poor beggar, who could not walk properly because he had a mixture of polio and whatever, he stammered while talking, his one eye-ball was coming out from the eye- but then also he talked, he danced and he also carried a gun. He danced with his friend Kader, for nearly fifteen minutes or perhaps more than that, dressed as females, with really fat back-side. It was irritating, throughout. Everybody was irritating in that film.


Judaai- Anil Kapoor, Sri Devi, Urmilla, starrer had one amazing female character. Thankfully, I don?t remember her name ( same who played the sweeper in Loafer), she used to say just three words, in the film: Abba-Dabba-Jabba?..!! and I bet she was all over that film. It was bad, really bad. And poor Johnny Lever marries her, and sings: Shaddi karke Phas gaya yaar, accha khasa tha kanwara?!!!


Watch Dharmendra play a ghost in a Dharam-Rekha starrer Ghazab ( a must see?bad action film), or Rahul Roy as tiger in Junnoon??..or my favorites AB playing a magician in Jadugar ( called Goga !!!! ) or SRK playing a don?. in Ram Jaane?..or someone?s whom I listen to a lot nowadays favourite HritHik??with two H?s flexing the facial muscles in anger in Aap Mujhe Acche Lagey??..


Say, Sunny Deol. He is one amazing super-man- who breaks jail, who carries a rocket launcher on his broad shoulder himself, who is the ?one-man? army who takes a neighboring country by fire, drives a train- he can do anything !!


Dr. Shreeram Lagoo, is another person that our Industry has seen, who has this amazing fascination for ?dying?. In Souten- one of the movies which should have been sponsored by the matrimony bureaus thanks to the weirdly bad song, can one explain why on earth does Dr. Lagoo have to be made up so weirdly dark... just to show he is a lower caste!!


Infact, whenever Dr. Lagoo got an opportunity to die in a film, he actually excelled there. In the film, Sargam , he dies when some ?unknown force? were playing drums all around the house. And in Gharonda, he really makes dying realistic with funny sounds. There is rarely a film, which has this man, and he has not had a heart attack. Really, he should have done a check-up, with Dil Ka Doctor!!


Dyeing reminds me of Ashok Kumar. Remember, Manoj Kumar?s Clerk. A very well made bad film- it was. He was an ex-Azad Hind soldier. And doctors have said, that he is dyeing. Even, the God has said, he is dyeing. But Manoj had other intention for his Dadamoni. So, in front of a ?coma patient?- a tape is played where the song, Kadam Kadam Badaye Ja, is played with full gutso. It was natural acting on Dadamoni?s part. He started moving his legs first, and then in five minutes he was marching towards a new life. Wish Manoj Kumar could have played the songs from Chalti Ka Naam Gadi, when Ashok Kumar actually fell ill. He would have been immortal alas.


Remember MARD, where Dara Singh stopped a plane from taking off with a rope !! Then Dara Singh engraving the word MARD on his baby's chest with a knife, if you please, and the baby smiling. By goodness, the baby is brave Man?!!!


Mard, and our own AB- remember AB days, with Mrityudata, a drunkard doctor, and then come on, I can?t forget him in Lal Badshah.


But our great heroes, have been real good in some film. How many can forget Amir Khan in Mela. Infact, Mela was one film, where they show a woman- Twinkle, ( okay won?t dwell on her much- after all a married lady now) was abused by men from all corners. And our Amir- dreamt of that amazing millenium songs, fooled Johnny Lever with a bottle of urine, and did lot of crazy stuff, only to popularise his brother. And his brother- better not talk about him much.


To end here is a song from a film called Teesri Aankh in which a 50 year old Dharmendra wears a superman suit and flies around with Zeenat (you can see the steel suspension wires) with people singing 'mera dil lele meri jaan lele, mere chain, SUPERMAN SUPERMAN, SUPERMAN'....


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