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Koi Lautade Mere Beethe Hue Din...
Apr 30, 2007 12:46 AM 15816 Views
(Updated Apr 30, 2007 01:02 AM)

Once, I was meandering in my school library with nothing important to do except gaze at the array of books lined up nicely in the shelves.  How many shelves were there I didn’t know, because, I couldn’t count at that time.  Okay, I admit, I couldn’t count.


Maybe I was too poor at Math and didn’t want to strain my teensy-weensy brain too much with abstract things such as counting.  But, I was impressed as I looked at the seemingly endless row after row of books decorating the somber library walls.


The ‘Sleepy Head’ who failed to become a Newton:


As I stood, gazing at some books in a particularly seedy part of the library, a heavy truck passed through the street creating a cacophony of sounds.  The shelves in the library started wobbling as if they were dancing to the tunes of the passing truck.  This entire dancing bit was the result of ‘sympathetic vibrations’caused by heavy loads passing close by.


No, I am not a genius, and I didn’t know at that time(that I was not a genius)… some one told me when I was much older(that I am not a genius).  That ‘someone, ’ also, told me that the visible oscillations that I saw were due to ‘sympathetic vibrations.’  He was the genius!


Now, you might well ask why I am dwelling so much on this pathetic ‘sympathetic’ stuff.  Silly!  The sympathetic vibrations caused the shelves to wobble and a dusty book lying on top of the shelves was kind enough to dislodge itself and fall on my rather bloated head… and thereby, hangs a head, err… book, oops… tale!  Does that make me a Newton?  I guess not.


The rule of the thumb says… only when an apple, without any external force applied to it, falls on a sleepy head, the worm from the rotten core comes out of its reverie, with a vengeance, and enters through the ear of the sleepy head and makes its way(from the rotten core of the apple) to the rotten core of the brain and settles there permanently for the rest of its life, or for that matter, the life of the ‘sleepy head’ triggering a massive brain quake. That’s what makes a Newton.


Others can go home, or the hospital, or the grave, depending upon complex factors that involve some serious math… the force at which the apple strikes is directly proportional to the weight of the apple and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between the apple and the ‘sleepy head.’  Now, we know why only Newton got it right.


How a failed Newton became a Bakasura(with a vengeance):


I went home with a ‘cone head’ with just this nagging feeling that by next morning I would rise from the bed like a one horned rhinoceros.  No such luck, morning came and I woke up with a serious headache and spent the rest of the day as though I was doing a glitzy commercial for Saridon.


The ‘falling book’ episode didn’t make me a Newton, but it made a voracious reader(or voracious eater) of books.  Now, that didn’t make me a genius either, I kept devouring books on any topic or subject except the books I was supposed to read in the first place… you’ve guessed right - the syllabus books.  In India, one becomes a genius by devouring syllabus books… not books on life, not books that are interesting, not books that impart wisdom.  By that yardstick, I don’t qualify at all.  I’ve heard there’s a competition for ‘The Most Idiotic Ideas Ever, ’ I’ll try my luck there.


Luckily, I didn’t turn into a ‘silverfish’ after being bitten by the book bug.  But, I needed my daily dose of books like a Bakasura, a whole lot of them.  For a Bakasura like me, supplies of good books were getting shorter by the day as my appetite was increasing in inverse proportions.  That’s when I hit upon the idea of multiple ‘helpings’ of good ole books, and still continue to do so, because of the lack of mouth watering fare in new book malls.


Bakasura comes off Age:


By the time I reached 15, this young Bakasura had devoured the whole lot of James Hadley Chase, Alistair MacLean, The Perry Mason Series, The mysteries of Agatha Christie and Conan Doyle.  If it was Desmond Bagley for breakfast, then it was Robert Ludlum for dinner.  At the weekends, it could be a Frederick Forsyth sandwiched between a hot and stewy Harold Robbins and a dicey Ian Fleming.


I always made it a point to have a lot of ‘roughage’ or ‘fibre’ in my daily intake, so, I turned to ‘finger itchy’ Westerns… Max Brand, Louis Amour, Sudden, JT Edson, to name a few.


The more I gorged on various authors the more my appetite grew.  It was a never ending cycle as I searched for books on exotic topics or subjects.  Like… ahem, The Kamasutra, and the Mysteries of Sex(or Sin).  Finally, Bakasura came off age.


Bakasura reminiscences about the ‘unforgettable dishes’ he tasted as a ‘hungry eyed’ little boy(third person’s view):


Cinderella:


The moving story of an adolescent girl forced to do the household chores by her wicked stepmother and step sisters and treated like a slave by them, touched him.  In those days, He hadn’t yet developed cynicism, so loved to dream and could easily identify with the ‘rags’ to ‘riches’ story of this good natured girl.  That the story wasn’t real or logical didn’t matter.  It was a ‘feel good’ story, and it encouraged one to dream… no matter how illogical that dream could be.


Illustrated Fairy Tales, (Hans Christian Andersen):


There were so many good stories in this volume it warmed the heart and the tummy of young Bakasura. The Little Mermaid, The Swamp King’s daughter, The Nightingale, The Snowy Queen, She was good for Nothing, were so adorable the young Bakasura’s tummy longed for a morsel of each.  But they were too young, so he waited patiently for them to fatten up.


Sindbad the Sailor:


Bakasura loved adventure and so it was natural that he should read ‘Sindbad the Sailor.’  Bakasura came across many mythical beasts through the journeys of Sindbad.  Though he himself was a beast, he yearned to protect Sindbad from the evil eye and the constant danger that was looming over his head.  Of course, Bakasura did feed on the countless creatures that Sindbad put to sword and, also, warmed up to the stories behind each killing.


The Little Red Riding Hood:


Bakasura felt a tinge of jealousy while reading this story meant for tiny tots.  The big bad wolf was eyeing the little red riding hood for a long time, and looking for an opportunity to make a meal of her.  No way, Bakasura thought, by the end of the story, “it is I who will devour both, ” he mused.  And true to his prediction… it was Bakasura who finished off not only the little girl and the big bad wolf, but also the grandma for dessert.


Bakasura devours space on MouthShut too…


Continued in the Comments Section.


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