Few months ago I had warned you guys from watching KANK and let me once again warn you before you commit a dreadful crime of watching something that goes by the name DON. Yes it indeed

At the outset, new Don is nothing but a cheap reworked copy of 1978’s classic hit. I am using the word rework and not remake because it is not a remake. It’s an altered copy of the previous Don. Locale is different, plot is different, and above all the script is different. What in heavens name Farhan was thinking when he went touting to everyone who cared to listen that he is remaking Amitabh’s Don. Either he got too enthusiastic of the project or he did not know the meaning of word remake. Later probably sounds more convincing.

Those who are familiar with the story will find this one starchy and silly. Don (Shahrukh) is an underworld top dog based in Malaysia. After he dies in one of those mindless chases, he is replaced by his mirror image Vijay by cop De Silva (Boman Irani). The trouble begins when he finds it hard to convince that he is just another guy and not the real Don. To this add few twists in the middle, ultimate and the crappiest twist in the end and you are ready with the Farhan’s version of Don.

Technically, the movie is well shot. Malaysia (Truly Asia) is breath taking and cameraman has done absolute justice to those picturesque shots. What gets into the way is lousy script and awful screenplay.

Scrutinizing the performances, Shahrukh as Don fails to impress. The movie starts with Shahrukh answering his mobile. The scene shows close up of his lips and leisurely he utters DON and your immediate reaction is there goes the movie down the gutter. There is no comparison to Amitabh’s trendy voice. Shahrukh’s voice has no command and definitely no air of an underworld don. He as usual trembles throughout the movie and people love seeing him do that in those Chopra and Johar movies. But seeing Shahrukh trembling and quivering in each of his dialogues in this one was a complete let down. Any one would get Goosebumps stepping in Amitabh’s shoes. However, once you are there and you have accepted to step in, you have to prove yourself. Well that’s what you are paid for and that’s why you are watched?

Priyanka Chopra, Isha Kopikar and Kareena Kapoor have nothing much to offer. Donning Zeenat’s role was a hard assignment and Priyanka definitely was wrongly cast. Kareena Kapoor had just one song Ye Mera Dil and two dialogues in her glory. Kareena does have oomph but not enough to thrash Helen’s. I feel Malaika Arora was better suited for the Helen’s dance number. If not much then it certainly would have recreated the magic of Chhaiya Chhaiya, which was lost in Arora and Khan’s Kaal Dhamaal.

Arjun Rampal as JJ in Pran’s role was another downer. He doesn’t look a bit as a man who is in lookout for his revenge. Pran always created magic on screen. Arjun however not only failed to step into Pran’s shoes, also raised the speculation why was he even approached for the role? Boman Irani is one actor who tasted success late in his career with path breaking roles in Everybody says I am fine, Munnabhai, Lets Talk to name a few and of late in Khosla Ka Ghosla. He is wasted in this one.

Now the music part of it. Huh!!!! There is nothing much to talk about. I do not even wish to delve into Khaike Paan Banaraswaala, in particular. What a pity?

Finally, the Boss. Farhan Akhtar. Is he the same guy who took Bollywood by storm with his very first movie Dil Chahta Hai? Is he the one who came up with wonderfully made and well-executed Lakshya? Doesn’t look though in this one. What was the rational behind giving those silly striped trousers to Don? It was rage in 70s, not anymore. You changed the script, you changed the location, you told a story based in 2006 and you gave all those fancy gadgets to Don, then how could you make him wear something like that? To top it all, you make him wear his ties under his shirt. Yuck!!!!

Overall, a definite miss.