I HATE THIS BOOK. Review on Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

I HATE CATCH 22. I hate it so much that, that if I could, I would buy/snatch/steal all the copies of this book ever published. I would make my bed out of it (it would take around 600-700 paperbacks for it ),my pillow (around 50 paperbacks, I like my pillows high and large ), the rest I would use to make the greatest castle ever made , rows and columns of catch22s bound together .

Of course not to mention the library. It will have only one book; yup! You guessed it catch 22 (preferably signed first edition copies)

Ok! enough of these crazy fantasies. For the dull heads among you, who still haven?t guessed it, I don?t hate this book. I hate Joseph Heller. I hate him from the bottom of the cesspools of my heart. He has what should have been mine. The glory, the immortality of having created one of the best books ever written.

NO! I don?t hate Heller. I just love the book too much to want to share it with anyone, including Heller.

I was once an uncorrupted boy. Frolicking through life like the naked Adam in the Garden of Eden. I frolicked into a library once and there among the unending rows of books I noticed a book. Unknown to me it was not a book, but a serpent ready to strike all the innocence out of me once and for all.

I opened the book unsuspectingly and after the first page, I was beginning to feel a little breeze around my body and soon, I was conscious of my nakedness. Here I was holding a book which told a story , I wanted to tell; spoke the word, in a style that I wished was mine. By the time I got out of the library, clutching the book in front of me; I had just one thought in my mind. I wanted a private corner of my own, where I could be with that book, to contemplate a painful death for Mr. Heller.

In the days to come I came to know that Mr. Heller had already died. It was a relief, which lasted till the moment I opened his book again. And then I wished Mr. Heller to live again, so that I could kill him. But somehow I couldn?t complete the book. It was too much like my unwritten thoughts and made me wish for the unfamiliarity of some other, unimportant writer.

I gave the book back to the library.

For the next 2 years, I would borrow this book innumerable times and recommend it to anyone I could. All who read loved it and thanked me for it. I was proud of myself; at last I was being heard, so what if the words weren?t my own. I cursed Mr. Heller again.

I still haven?t finished the book in a single reading the way I often do (yes including that detestable ?Gone with the wind?) .But I have read the book a few pages here and there . And then read them again, till I have cumulatively finished that book a zillion times. Yet I don?t appreciate the book the way my fellow reviewers do.

It takes a man greater than myself to appreciate his own creation. Yes it?s true.

I would have written it: only Mr. Heller wrote it earlier.

So don?t buy this book, don?t read it and if for some godforsaken reason, you do. Remember me; I would hate Mr. Heller to get all the glory.