"Ye to bada toing hai…" has catapulted brand Amul Macho to the top. Yes, to the top of the list of the most vulgar and ‘sexually’

explicit ads that have come out since TV ads began hogging viewing time in living rooms. This ad was something that I watched in bits never waiting to see what it was all about. But, there was this talk in my family, which basically revolved around how revolting the ad was. That forced me to actually watch the whole damn thing just to get to the root of the ‘toing’

          

Most people, apart from being amused, want to know what ‘toing’ is. And most people also seem to agree it could be the sound an elastic band makes when stretched fully and released suddenly… it can be argued, for arguments sake, that such a sound would most probably sound as ‘twang’ and not ‘toing’.

          

15 crores for aggressive brand marketing, and guess who won the Amul Macho account…? Well, it was Saints & Warriors and there seems to be nothing saintly about their ads. They came "armed with ideas to make the communication for the brand clutter-breaking." Well, they didn’t break any clutter, and instead, added to it in their big ‘toing’ way.

          

I get this gut feeling that Saints & Warriors had packed much more in their sick fantasies than the mere sound of an elastic band. If you look up the expression ‘toing and froing’ it actually means physical ‘to and fro’ movement… a convenient, and sexually suggestive expression to draw from, eh. Now, S & W please don’t come up with some silly crap that it was one of those ‘silly’ and rare coincidences.

          

The earlier ad with Sana Khan’s highly controversial and ‘sexpressive’ body language really turned heads. Young 8 year olds ogled, and discussed about it without actually knowing what the whole ‘toing’ was about. Though this daring ad slipped through the sleepy eyes of ASCI (The Advertising Standards Council of India), the Ministry of Information & Broadcasting ultimately banned it.

          

Amusingly, this ad did more for the fledgling career of Sana Khan than it did for Amul Macho though the product owners might prefer to disagree. Sana Khan is a very pretty and budding actress. She was born in Mumbai before she became a hot Kuwaiti model. Now, she’s back in India doing films down South and of course, ‘toing’ with underwear in her fantasies.

          

The sequel to the ‘village belle washing undies’ ad is the all new Orangutan ad. Of course, Sana khan is central to the orangutan idea but thankfully she was required to emote less in this ad. The hints and suggestions are less sexually explicit, with all the monkey business going on, but it still causes more than a few red faces if the whole family is watching together.

          

The punchline, "Amul macho… Crafted for Fantasies" punches you at the very place you wouldn’t want to mention in public. That brings me to the million-dollar question… what sort of people would go out and buy Amul Macho after watching the ad? Now, don’t assume that nobody is buying this cheap substitute for a sexual romp because, as per the company’s figures, sales are increasing.

          

To make matters worse, the company admits that it’s target group is UP and Bihar. I wonder if Mayawati and Laloo Prasad Yadav are watching. Though Laloo may be game for a new ‘private’ fantasy wardrobe, I am not too sure about Mayawati. She may actually go on a dharna taking this whole ‘ toing’ as an affront to the image of UP and it’s macho men. Though that remains to be seen, the product owners are drawing condemnation from another source. PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) has taken strong offence to the use of animals in the monkey business. PETA officials’ contention is that the monkeys "wouldn’t willingly do so in their natural environment" which is absolutely true, and my contention is that they don’t even get paid for it.

          

Whichever way you look at it, the Amul Macho ads have garnered more controversy and cheap publicity than creating a durable brand image and I am consciously using the word ‘durable’ in what must be the most fragile part of a ‘macho’ man’s anatomy.

          

I guess, there are enough sexually frustrated persons in our country who’d do anything to fulfil their fantasies, and after all… this damn ‘toing’ is crafted for fantasies.

          

~mbf~