Come 12 o'clock tonight, my life's going to pass another milestone... it's that time to bid another year goodbye... It's been a pretty wild ride with the highs being real high and the lows being real low... and it promises to get even more wilder... and right now... am pretty numb and speechless about the whole thing... however...

To those that I have hurt during the course of these years... a sorry is the lamest thing to say but it's a start... so... from the bottom of my heart... I'm sorry... I'm flawed... more flawed than everyone else...

And now... I find myself at this new milestone... nothing's changed much... I still don't have a bunch of people I can hang out with at any given time... there's still no one to confide in... no one really asks me whether I'm ill or well... no one really has that time and energy to wonder what goes through in the confines of this mind... but that's all ok...

I have silver now... Silver will be there... Silver is my new friend... my two month old Siberian Husky... he'll be there...

~finis~

I'm not a big believer in Valentine's Day because love, friendship etc. should be a 365 day affair and not constrained to an outburst on one day and blahs for the other 364... still...

If I had to compile a set list of 13 songs to play on the day... here are my picks:

1. I Miss You - Incubus
2. Always On My Mind - Elvis Presley
3. Fields Of Gold - Sting
4. Eternal Flame - The Bangles
5. Far Away - Nickelback
6. Slave to Love - Bryan Ferry
7. Father Figure - George Michael
8. Dream a little dream - Mamas and the Papas
9. Love Me Do - The Beatles
10. Play Me - Neil Diamond
11. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
12. Amarantine - Enya
and my all time favourite - Hawkmoon 269... with lyrics that go...

Like a rhythm unbroken
like drums in the night
like sweet soul music
like sunlight... I need your love... I need your love...

Have fun

~finis~

to the ones that feign sweet ignorance
to the ones that thrive on vile pretense
to the ones that portray innocence
to the ones that cut, in an instance
i have no words, sweet and cute...
i only have... the one finger salute

--- (c) 2009 psyxx

thoughts always lopsided
every tale has versions three
opinions are divided
still the truth shall set you free

you're blind to what i endure
your side you'll always see
suspicions have no cure
so you just got to let me be

for every story, a timeline
events, chronology
when you look for the flaws in mine
you 'll never see the good in me


--- (c) 2009 psyxx

a lesson learnt the hardest way
the teacher taught me well
first my heart was cast away
then i was dragged through hell

reality opened bloody eyes
the mask you once did wear
has fallen, truth materialize
the truth, that no one did care


--- (c) 2009 psyxx

what can one say when the wound is raw
exhibit marks left by your claw
when i gave all, you never saw
all that you saw, was every flaw

my authority i never thrust
i did it all to earn your trust
instead you ripped me soul to crust
and let my emotions, slowly rust

when i was down and in a rut
you gave me that unkindest cut
for only your woes you ever did strut
on my emotions, your eyes you shut

no i didn't fail, i didn't let go
the bond succumbed to your ego
when you had the chance you never did show
now i'm the one... you'll never know

----- (c) 2009 psyxx

First the list
----------------------------

15. Back in Black - AC/DC
14. Purpendicular - Deep Purple
13. Rust In Peace - Megadeth
12. Synchronicity - The Police
11. Morning View - Incubus
10. The Final Cut - Pink Floyd
9. Ten - Pearl Jam
8. Nevermind - Nirvana
7. The Very Best of Cat Stevens
6. Paint the sky with stars - Enya
5. Ray Of Light - Madonna
4. Joshua Tree - U2
3. The Downward Spiral - Nine Inch Nails
2. Physical Graffiti - Led Zeppelin
1. ______________________________
__


Now the gyan about that blank one....

That blank one is a record that I was lucky enough to create... songs that came out of my little pen... an inspired piece of work... even though its yet to see the light of day, it will be the fondest memory, the one thing that I will always truly cherish for as long as I live... and I owe it to inspiration... thank you

~finis~

PS: If you need any inputs on the other records in the list... I'd be glad to share...

I stand here in my sprawling splendor
majestic branches with leaves so tender
I've withered many a calm and storm
as civilizations die and form

the fruit i bear feed many around
my root, together, holds this ground
i am the source of shelter and shade
without me, life will wither and fade

and in return for all i do
what's my reward, my honest due
a hatchet and saw, cutting through?...
--- psyxx

A whole lot of people I knew have moved on to another plane... but this post is not about them... that... is part of the cosmic bylaws... what breathes will die...

Was just thinking....

First... Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy went from icons to figments of one's imagination..
Then... a lot of species of fauna went extinct... but then... that's a regular feature in the history of this planet
And... Germany united when a few dozen countries broke into pieces... the political map of the world had to be redrawn a few times...
A while ago... Pluto lost its planet status when it got relegated to dwarf planet... and the solar system ended up being a planet less
And now there's a theory that Mars was born out of Earth's debris....

Growing up sure has been eventful...

that spider built its little web
silken thread it spun
its energy, never did ebb
no sleep until its done
as nature and forces known
conspired to break its will
the spider toiled all alone
and rest it wont, until...

its little web is standing...
its kingdom is complete

--- psyxx