Dear All, Remember this number as this may be needed very frequently in India now !!!Very very important … In case you come across any suspicious activity, any suspicious movement or material lying unattended.. Or have any information to tell to the Anti-Terror Squad, please take a note of the new ALL INDIA TOLL-FREE Terror Help-line '1090'. Your city's Police or Anti-Terror squad will take action as quickly as possible. Remember that this single number 1090 is valid all over India. This is a toll free number and can be dialled from mobile phones also. Moreover, the identity of the caller will be kept a secret. Please, try to aware each and every citizen of India about this facility. Forward this mail to as many people as possible, and tell everyone individually also. Store this number in your handset, who knows when this comes in handy. It isn't just the Government's responsibility to check terror,it is our responsibility as well...

EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 1, 2008 NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. 4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .

Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders'category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break: (Love this one) * Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. * Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. * Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

See other pics in my gallery of austerity redifined post the crash.....

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to a class.

He is at the 'Krishnajanma' part of it.

Masterji : Toh bachcho, Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars.

First son is born, and Kansa kills him by poisoning.

Second one is born and Kansa throws him off the mountain peak.

Third one is born... ..

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot in the class puts up his hand.

Masterjii (sounding nervous and confused) : Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in Mahabharata and how come u have one?

Ramu: Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him, why the hell did he put Vasudev and Devaki in same cell...??



Now who can answer that question ???

Spermicide Coke Scoops Ig Nobel Awards!

London, Oct 3 (ANI): Studies that suggested sodas such as Coke and Pepsi kill sperms have been awarded the 2008 Ig Nobel prize

In 1980s, when researcher Deborah Anderson of Harvard Medical School's birth- control laboratory discovered that "Coca Cola douches" were being used as a type of contraception at the all-girl Catholic boarding school she had attended in Puerto Rico, she decided to test it.

For the study, Anderson, medical student Sharee Umpierre and gynaecologist, Joe Hill mixed four different types of Coke with sperm in test tubes. A minute later, they found that all sperm were dead in the Diet Coke, however, 41pct were still swimming in the just-introduced New Coke.

"Coca-Cola douches had become a part of contraceptive folklore during the 1950s and 1960s, when other birth-control methods were hard to come by," New Scientist quoted Anderson, as saying. "It was believed that the carbonic acid in Coke killed sperm, and the method came with its own 'shake and shoot applicator'" - the classic Coke bottle," she added.

Come to think of it, the raid @ rave at Bombay 72 degrees in Juhu Mumbai, and the 231 arrests there in had ecstacy pills, coccaine, marijuana, LSD and lots of Beer etc was rampantly found and no trace of any Coke...

Don't really know how true will this phenomenon be

Sun will rise continuously for 36 hrs(1.5 days).

Coming October 17, 2008 the sun will rise continuously for 36 hrs (1.5 days). During this time the US countries will be dark for 1.5 days. It will convert 3 days into 2 big days. It will happen once in 2400 yrs. We're very lucky to see this.

I just got a mail forward from a friend and thought I just might put this up for discussion amongst the learned and mighty of MS who somewhere must have some info on this.
I am surprised that Aaj Tak / India TV and other such channels are not yet beaming this up... they are still running after the Sensex downfall (sub 12K)today...which has happened in 740 days (last time it touched this low was 26 Sept 2006).
From the high of 8 Jan this year of 21K plus it has dropped a majestic 43 percent already and if experts are to be believed this slide to continue for another 3-5 months perhaps...
Are we prepared for the long sunshine (17th Oct onwards) and for the dark days too....
The face of the US Dollar changed (check my Pics gallery), what will the new INR look like...it already looks shattered and dilapidated though.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

I am sure many of you must have read this earlier,but just thought it was woth a read again.

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air..
Where are the clowns?

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move...
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours.
Making my entrance again with my usual flair
Sure of my lines...
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want...
Sorry, my dear!
And where are the clowns
Send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late in my career.
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns...
Well, maybe next year.



PS:I found these so nice and true that cud not resist sharing them here,thnx Ash!!

"What are you fuming about Harry?"my wife asked,coming up to where I sat, steaming away…
"Wonder whether I am an Indian or not,after what our PM has said ..."
"Why,what has he said that makes you doubt your nationality after all these years?"
"Oh! I was born & bred an Indian,but am now seriously doubting my credentials. "
"Stop beating about the bush and come to the point, for heaven's sake.."
"That's exactly the point,Bush."
"Bush!you mean George,the US PreZ.What's he got to do with your not being an Indian?"
"Everything,I'thought you follow the news…"
"Didn't you see our PM fawning all over the US Prez?Didn't you hear what he said to George W.Bush?"
"No, you tell me…"
"PM said,and I quote: "The people of India deeply love you"
….Now that's a sweeping statement implicating every Indian.I am proud to be Indian —but not if I have to love George Bush!
"And shouldn't you love Bush? Look what he's doing for us,pushing deals through energetically right and left…"
"Not left,by any stroke of imagination.Can you picture Prakash Karat's face when our PM eulogised thus?"
"Yes,Karat and his comrades must be fuming like you."
"Not just the Left.Any self-respecting Indian would balk at this statement.Nuclear deal or not, diplomatic niceties or not…. we can't be so subservient as to fall at anybody's feet."
"Isn't it our Indian culture to respect our elders?"
"Elders and betters yes.But is Bush older than Manmohan Singh?Is the US better?"
"No way…In any case,how can our PM speak for all Indians?"
"He is the elected Prime Minister, you know, and has a right to air the people's views."
"Not if it is a downright untruth & hurts public sentiments!"
"You're being too touchy, defensive …"
"No I'm not,I'm sure I'm speaking for most Indians.
"That's exactly what I meant,Indians are prickly,take offence for everything & anything."
" Rubbish…"
"See,you're just proving my point! But to come back to PM's US visit —What if he had praised their Secretary of State and said: "The people of India love Rice!"
"That's a good one, but we would still be eating out of their hands!
Or,he could have told Bush:"Indians admire BillGates…"But that wouldn't help in opening windows for the nuclear deal, I guess."
"We'll leave this topic for now. There are better things to talk about. Like cricket, and the upcoming test match against Australia…"
"Sure,but wouldn't that start another debate, with you rushing to the Seniors' defence!
"Naturally, all Indians deeply love the Magical Five!"

No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice.

Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey.

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: "I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement."

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, "Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.."

My friend said jokingly, "No, I'd prefer a soft drink."

Wally smiled and said, "No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice."

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, "I'll take a Diet Coke."

Handing him his drink, Wally said, "If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today."

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card. "These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio."

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

"Tell me, Wally," my amazed friend asked the driver, "have you always served customers like this?"

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. "No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.

He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It.
Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'

"That hit me right between the eyes," said Wally. "Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more."

"I take it that has paid off for you," Harvey said. "It sure has,"Wally replied."My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year.This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore.My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine.If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action."

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it..Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice.He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

Many a times we don't realize
What have we, until it's gone
Many a times, we wait too long to say
I'm sorry - I was wrong.

At times it seems we hurt the ones
We hold close to our heart
And we allow small things
To tear our lives apart.

Many a times we let
Useless issues into our mind
And then it's probably too late
To see what made us blind.

Always be sure to let people know
How much they mean to you
Take that time to say the words
Before your time is through.

Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the little things
In life that mean a lot.