DIWALI DHAMAKA BUMPER SALE!

It was the day of the big sale.

Rumors of the sale and an advertisement on the web and newspaeres were the main reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back amid loud and colourful curses.
On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw and knocked around a bit, then thrown to the end of the line again.
As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line:

"That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"

SMART NEIGHBOUR:

Every time the man next door headed toward Michaels's house, Michael knew he was coming to borrow something.
"He won't get away with it this time," muttered Michael to his wife. "Watch this."
"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began.
"Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Michael with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day."
"In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?"

SANTA IN AMREEEEEEEEEEKA!

Santa and his son were visiting America for the very first time.
Santa was at a Local Food store going up and down the aisles with his son.
Santa asked, "What is this??
Santa`s son, "Powdered orange juice"
Santa, "Powdered orange juice??"
Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice."
A few minutes later, in a different aisle Santa asked again, "And what is this?? Son, "Powdered milk"
Santa, "Powdered milk??"
Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!"
A few minutes later, in a different aisle...
Santa, "And give a look here!! Baby Powder !! What a country, What a country!"