My most early birthday memory, receiving extra long packets of, in golden pack, sugar coated NICE packets of biscuit, and puja at home followed with grand lunch and dinner session because most often than not my birthday fell near or on the Rakshabandhan day so the celebrations would double as maah parents used to find their way to “ek panth do kaaraz” birthday ka birthday rakshbandhan ka tyohaar manaaounus, (courtesy Govinda in some Nepal shot film) and I remember, maah uncle and aunts gheraaoging our home for that special budha purnima puja session and then delicious “chhole bhatoore” made at home (no that was not the time when you used to get it anywhere @ Rs. 10) or something of that sort which was again prepared meticulously by my mom and the relatives who used to drop in the night before for perhaps their bond with maah parents were extra strong but I do not remember whether Fevicol was still there with a strong bond image.
And how not to talk about gifts when we talk of birthdays, the gift that I was most fond of was a Leo Toys machine gun with an irritating sound raaattttaaaattttaaattttaaat
when you press the buzzer oooops (blame the reality shows which have made us so used to it) the trigger!!!!
And from that day maah parents did not get a second of peace at home, raaatttaaatttttaaaattttaaattt, they knew every minute and second of maah being at home that this is their son and whatta a son maah mother has given birth to!!!! Rattttaaaattttaaattttaaatttaat
tt I am in the loo, raaatttaaattaaatttaaa now I am in the kitchen, raaattttaaaatttttaaaatttaaattt
t now I am going down on stairs, raaattttaaattttaaattttaaattt and now I am in the puja room!!!! Now I can! I just can understand how irritating it was for that rattttaattttaaatttaaat to be heard all through our home. Many a times that Leo Toy was confiscate and at several, it was hid far from my reach but thanks to the blood toiling hard work of me and maah zister, we always managed to find the irritating fellaa down under some unforgotten, unused household item of maah of our home, I wonder continuing with the same zest me and maah zister would have been the next best after Gems Bond (yes Gems I have received packets and packets of them at maah birthdays) and next day I used to run to brush maah teeth so that I could pop few in maah mouth before maah zister does!!!
Coming back to maah most favorite gift the rattaattattaatttaattt machine, that was the night of horror, the night of justice or perhaps the nights when everything was to bring under the hammer (order order), I wish I could remember the date, time, day and year. I wish I could. Maah father was setting our bed after a hard day of ratttaaatttaattt and while he was doing that, I was eyeing in appreciation and deep love, that Leo Machine kept just atop the racks of kids bedroom at maah home and then suddenly something disturbed maah eyez!!! It was skinny black, gandaa shandaa chuhaa a mice or a rat or a mouse I just don’t care but what occurred as a horror to me was phore maah own blunder!!! I just screamed out maah lungs “papaaaaa chuhaaaaaa” and this chuhaa the bad man was the one who has made irreparable losses to our home so maah father got extra agile, faster than a cat!!! And in a fraction of second he picked up maah favorit Leo sobb sobb sobb or rather I want to do the professional rudaali types , and maah father jumped at the chuhaa with that gun and I said to maahself..how funny as if this gun oogles bullet but whattaa scaaaam!!! Maah father used maah jaan se pyara gun as a stick…and I did not get maah time to stop him!! maah jaws dropped till ground floor (we lived on second), eyes already rolling on the floor, and hands about to beat maah chhhaattii (chest) (haaye haaye je kyaa ho gawaaa ) and maah Leo Machine was in two piece….cont. in comments

After Catering Lapse, Rajdhani passengers get a chocolate treat

TOI this morning says
“IRCTC distributed – to over 1000 surprised but happy Rajdhani passengers – complimentary gift boxes worth Rs. 200 each after the corporation failed to serve them the usual high tea at the beginning of the journey, which comprises of samosas and sandwiches. The incident took after the IRCTC’s delivery van broke down before it could deliver the food to the pantry car of August Kranti Rajdhani at Nizamuddin station on Monday”
And some one was crying bitter over this gift boxes, harry paaji jaago the box you received was of high value from the usual food packets we get!! Now that you know cheer up and smile thodaa bhaangra bhi paanleyee :P

Presentation got over early so this was the first time I wanted to roam around in markets of Jaipur carefree, walking and loitering, raising legs to traverse territories, to walk we have to raise legs you see, oh!! And the territories sure belonged to one dog or the other!!
A friend suggested, now that we have time, let’s catch the item numbers of Jaipur!! I I insisted on walking since I did not want to miss the fun of raising your legs, traversing territories and roaming around looking for nothing.
And the first item number he suggested was R M B, Rawat Mishthan Bhandaar for OnionKachoris, unsure about one I just said okay!! And raised my legs to RMB!! A neat big shop with lot of lit panels on the building, proclaiming how famous it is within locals and outsiders like me!!
One look at kachoris, and I was flabbergasted!! Are they kachoris? …….with the size of round small sofa cushions? He said yes sir yes sir!! I replied may be then the whole family eats through one? He was perplexed, “are you kidding sir”? I will eat two in no time!! I said then why didn’t you tell me before you belong to the species of pachyderm and all this while I thought I am roaming with a man besides me!!
How dangerous, traversing the territories and walking along with a pachyderm in an unfamiliar city!! I dug into one sofa cushion ordered for me and could not complete the full. The cushion was yummy but yes the feeling was strange as if I have come from a famine struck state and eating huge, big time!!
And they were mava kachoris full of dry fruits and loads of sugar syrup in it with the size of sofa cushion again, I lit some agarbattis, right there, in praise of efforts of people who make it and people who eat but never dared to dig into one…. And then there were namkeens filled with spices and red chilly powder, I asked the shopkeeper “sir, anything with less spice and chilly?” he was furious!! Or rather humiliated on being told about extra spice, he literally threw a packet on me and said “ye le lo…these are meant for kids!!”
Hence it was proved when it comes to eating in Jaipur, we Delhi wallaahs are nothing else but kids….cause kids can’t dig in sofa cushions “mummy bahut maaregi”and kids can’t eat spices and loads of chilly powder!!
So now when you travel to Jaipur, always buy a HALF TICKET, on being asked….just wink smile and say…but I am a kid for Jaipur sir!!

N I travelled along
In the mornings of dense fog
In the nights those were exceptionally long
I travelled along
On the beds those were never mine
Or may be anyone’s ever
I travelled along
On the seats those spill coffee
On the rails those never reach
In the sky endless
I travelled along
With the guy besides me
Tying the tray in front
With his belt
I travelled along
With a lass
So obsessed with herself
I travelled along
With wrong food packets served
Failed generators
Falter Air Condition vents
N stranded fans
I travelled along
With behenjis, bhaishaahibs
Rookies, gentlemen
Some charmers
N few men in armors
A cracked cup holder
N a broken window pane
I travelled along
And I saw, when you travel
Endless
You mess
With so many
You meet so much
And you know
You are just so very tiny molecule
Of this world!!
And it makes you happy
You are not the only one
In zippy
Everyone is eager
To reach somewhere
N they all travel along

Aaj Tak(news channel) gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident
at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.

The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?
Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar
rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai.
Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye
patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.

Aaj tak: Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.
Sardar: oye nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye patri par hi leta tha.
Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya

Chilly December night and the things around were just getting young, sitting in the open greens around a bonfire; I was lazily enjoying my drink and beautiful people around. The setting was a farm house in the out skirts of Delhi. Soaking the relaxed ambience with a live band performance and talking my mind to people around my eyes fell upon a tall beautiful lady certainly not from our country, she was wearing a sari and was carrying it pretty good too, enjoying her orange juice with Smirnoff and talking to people perhaps she knew. Our eyes met and we exchanged smile. Now we all know people from far off countries are always warm and friendlier in nature. And then I strolled down to dining area and munched a few, without thinking of the pretty lady much!! Suddenly I heard a voice from behind “Alok I want to make you meet some special guests we have here, she is KiM from Finland” along with Kim were her two friends a gentleman from Finland and a gorgeous lady from Russia. A truly Indian friend of mine with me was more than glad to meet the beautiful people, meeting whom he felt himself more than lucky, we shook hands and we exchanged glares once again, and this truly Indian friend of mine kick started the conversation as one of the Star News Reporter …..so how do you people feel being in India, how do u feel wearing ethnic Indian wears, you people are from a peaceful country and blah blah blah, I was just looking at Kim, tall, addictively beautiful and oozing a radiant smile, and then we strike a conversation about what all places she can see in India, how long she is going to stay here, and that she also belonged from advertising was more than heartening to know. And we talked about advertising in general and it came to me that situations are similar all over the world, we cracked jokes about life, we laughed on some PJs I shared with her, and I have just started loving her beautiful persona and fabulous style, she also shared some humor which were more or less same as we Indians find being circulated among us and this was also good to know people across the world think similar and have a common perception about things, I was falling for this beautiful company every minute every second and talking sharing and laughing looking into her beautiful eyes. And then suddenly a shrill voice from behind “Alok have you forgotten you are with us?” My!! My!! how can one avert the prying eyes of one’s wife? So reluctantly I moved away for a photo-do as the last part of the event!! And I said bye bye Finland!! Welcome roads back to my home!!

Today when I look back and recall I remember in my school diary in the time table section after first four periods and before last four periods there was a column, written on it were elliptical bold capital letters R E C E S S!! Each letter for each day of the week!! And that was my favorite period of the day!! 40 minutes of tomfoolery and absolute revelry!!
And this is the day when that RECESS word has grown up to be RECESSION. It started in my life through TV channels, word of mouth and hearsay talks. BIG TIME RECESSION!! Economy going down hill!! Business getting a major set back!! And until few days ago!! I thought what the heck!! Where is recession? Perhaps it’s only in TV channels and in gossips during after lunch siesta in half lit conference halls?
But then suddenly I saw a big project we were working on since months PUT ON HOLD by the client!! Okay!! A week more!! And one more mammoth project crucified too!! Ahem!! Gulp!! Cough cough !! Triiiiiiiiiiin NO RECESS its indeed RECESSION!!
And few weeks down the line people we know at Reliance at AMEX at Satyam and many more such companies calling to give us the bad news “LOST THE JOB”!!
I hate to say this is one RECESS we don't want!! But just as the classes resumed after those 40 quick minutes this one will also see business resumed after a while. I hope it should be just few quick months!!
Chalo tab tak apun lunch karega with all my clients at all the vantage places in Delhi. To ask and know “sir aglaa project kub shuru hona hai?”

Me sitting in my office suddenly remember archana was about to go for shopping today
Suddenly a fear factor caught me!!
I rang her up and asked “where are you?” “GK”, came the reply. I said “ok, but go back home in an hour for sure it’s a Saturday before Diwali and bomb fat saktaa hai aaj” It was just a mundane talk like any of mundane affairs of home and office, the affairs to which we are used to now!! It striked me hard!! Are we now used to it?? Consider it “relaxed about a bomb blast and just returning home before evening sets in”. We have excelled coping to one more misery of this country loss of lives in a blast.
So what do you do when your people at the helms of power are incapable of saving your life, you have to be cautious and safe and be responsible for your own. Because we stay in India!! Helo India- and Helo Indians- a breed that could surpass cockroaches when it comes to surviving the most toughest situation! And to top it all we actually start living with them. So much of vice, corruption, ill-governance, crumbling infrastructure, recession, poverty around we have also learnt to live with frequent episodes of bomb blasts!!
Consider Mr. Sharma asking Mr. Verma “aaj bomb blast hua kya?” as if he asked “aaj office gaye the kya?” Or Mr. Singh telling Mr. Vij “saahub aaj bomb blast ho gayaa” and Mr. Vij reacts just with a “oh achchaa hua aaj main wahaa nahi gaya” Hello world what is this bomb blast? Phodo jitna phod sakte ho hume kuchh fark nahi padtaa?” we are so used it now!! Cause we are used to so many things
Ration shop per sugar black mein hai miltaa!! We are used to it
Office jaate waqt bus mein seat nahi milna!! We are used to it
Ghar aya hua traffic ka false challaan!! We are used to it
Traffic intersection per cow buffalo ka conference!! We are used to it
Hospital mein mare hue aadmi ka ilaaj!! We are used to it
Buying any authority with the power of money!! We are used to it
These many died, these many murdered, these many raped!! So what? We are used to it

Two back to back reviews on two different upshots of being in a relationship…..somber after a breakup and songs in your heart while living it
What I feel about being loved, living your passion with someone
We meet so many people in our life, some become special
Special chaaye is served with extra milk and layer of cream
These people are extra ordinary to catch our attention
Readymade garments use X to connote extra
And then we find these people interesting to be with them
Innova during navraatris available for lowest ever interest rate
We find reasons to be with them and find it beautiful to have them in our life
Whatever you need to find Google is the best search engine
The attachment with them slowly grows and you find them quite irresistible
G mail is one of the few web mail service for attachments 0f 8-10 mb
Attachment grows in to fondness and fondness into weakness for that special one
Dabur ChawayanPrash is a proven remedy to weakness and fatigue free day
So my suggestion who ever you love, make him/her feel the most special person for you
Do everything to bring a smile to that special one,
But raho zindagi ke liye hardam tayaar !!
with a spoonfull of chawayanprash

I watched it!! I watched it twice!! And I loved it twice!!

He has rocked again!! He has defined a new “C”. Chhichhora to be precise. And he has made it clear for umpteenth time that those who are not bold and booty-full, love to admire some one who does that with a touch of perfection. And guess what!! chhichhoras can actually make a London bred girl fall for them!! Because so many Hs in chhichhora makes you an Honest person!! You are honest about being a roadside and you are honest about not being perfect and wise.

While some frown about Singh is King to be a mindless comedy. Me!! being a no brainer simply relished it for the fact that I enjoyed it without straining little stock of brain I have with me!!

Moreover Tere b*h*nki….when I see all Adityas, Johars and Khans making a crap out of their power packed script and mind blowing direction, I feel, writing dialogues on the set and deciding the course of the movie on the location is a super hit formula to churn blockbusters.

I love akhsay when he said on the sets of 10 ka DUM- ek peg peeker main apni aukaat per aa jata hoon!! I love akhsay when he says- he is a joker and he just entertains people!! Kudos to him for dreaming a film with just seeing a title on a truck’s back!!