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Posted on Nov 20, 2009 under General
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Posted on Nov 18, 2009 under General
Kamal: - I am in big trouble nowadays. I am really very sorry for coming late in this business meeting. Arindam: - Yeah, that we can make out. Since morning, you went to the latrine for three times, and took a very long time. I think that you are yet to become successful in letting out those shit from your large intestine. Kamal: - Hmm…it is real problem for me. Even, ‘Kabz-Har’ bhi haar maan gaya hai. This constipation is ruining my life, yaar. Indrajit: - Oho, you are always eager to go to that latrine and my case is just opposite. I am always scared of entering the latrine. Recently, I had a serious piles operation. Tyasa: - Piles means that blood comes out of the rectum, right? Indrajit: - Yes, it comes out from there only. Not only have that, sometimes, it does not stop overflowing and that creates the real tension. Kamal: - But, at least, you don’t feel the problem like me. The whole day goes wasted for me, as I have to bear the gas. The shit does not come out at all, and you can feel, what a bad situation it is? Arindam: - It is a very bad situation. Have you people ever heard the story of Gopal Bhanrh. He was in the ministry of Raja Krishna Chandra. One day, the wife of Raja Krishna Chandra gave birth to a baby boy and he was so overjoyed that he invited all his ministers for a small party. Gopal Bhanrh was on his way to the party. However, suddenly, he felt the pressure in his large intestine. However, he was not finding any proper place to perform that thing, as he already boarded a boat to cross the river. Tyasa: - Was Gopal Bhanrh suffering from piles or constipation? Arindam: - No, no, his rectum was a super performer. He just got a place to let his shit out and after that, he felt a real satisfaction. When Raja Krishna Chandra asked Gopal, how happy he is feeling after hearing that the wife of Raja Krishna Chandra has given birth to a baby. Gopal Bhanrh said that after feeling a pressure in your large intestine, when you release it, you feel very happy about that. He is feeling happy like that only after hearing that the King has become a father. After hearing this type of comment, Gopal was expelled from the ministry. Later on, Raja Krishna Chandra also had a similar kind of experience. After releasing the pressure, he felt very happy and understood that Gopal was right. Later, Gopal was called back to the ministry again. Indrajit: - Yeah, it is true. After releasing the shit, you really feel cool, but this piles problem just sucks. Kamal: - Why do you always eat those spicy Andhra Meals? And if you even eat it also, why you don’t eat that curd or drink any lassi or fruit juice? Do you think that these South Indian people are fools to eat curds after their spicy meals? The curd directly negates the spicy effect of foods on your stomach. Always remember that spicy foods after being digested also, the chilly factor never dies out. It ultimately creates trouble for your rectum only. In earlier days, people used to have piles because in villages, there were no proper hygienic latrines. They used to do their potty in jungles or behind the bushes. Ultimately, it used to infect their rectum only. They were unaware about the soaps. After doing potty, they used to wash their hands with ashes or muds. But, nowadays, piles only happens due to the consumption of spicy foods. But, I really don’t know, why, I am having constipation? Arindam: - Maybe, you consume less water than it is required for your body. You also don’t drink alcohol. See, on every Saturday night, I drink alcohols and that is why; on Sunday morning, I only take 5 minutes to clear out my large intestine. Sometimes, the iron content in the water or the foods can create constipation. For example, if you eat too much meat, then as it contains more iron, the very next day, you are a victim of constipation. In our college times, we went to Simultala; there the tube-well water contains too much iron. The drinking water was reddish in color. Believe me, for 2 days, I was suffering from constipation. Tyasa: - Ok, guys, can we start our business meeting now. After hearing your discussion, I have understood that avoiding spicy foods and drinking lots of water will keep you safe from “PILES AND CONSTIPATION".
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Posted on Nov 18, 2009 under General
Suraj: - O Sayionee, chain ek pal nahi. Pinaki: - Being an Indian, you are singing a song of a Pakistani band. You should be ashamed of that. Sing this song…Teri yaad...jab sataye mujhko…main laut aaoonga. Arindam: - Arrey, yeh bhi toh Pakistani band ka gaana hai…Let me sing this song, Kabhi toh nazar milao…kabhi toh kareeb aayo. Mainak: - This is also a song sung by a Pakistani singer. I don’t understand that why Indian government gives the permit to these Pakistani singers to come and sing in our Bollywood films. Pakistan is our arch-rivals; we cannot allow their singers to sing in our Hindi films. Tuhina: - Now, don’t confuse music with politics. Music is music. It hardly matters, whether a man is an Indian, Pakistani or Japanese, the fact is that he is an artist first and all appreciate his work of art. Do you want to say that Nusrat Fateh Ali was a bad singer? Atif Aslam is also not so bad. You people give slangs to Bush, Clinton and Obama, but you respect Michael Jackson, why? Michael Jackson is an American, so as an Indian, why do you listen to that artist’s song? Arindam: - Hey, I understand, what you are trying to say, but, I don’t agree to you that Pakistani singers are better than our Indian singers. See, culture wise, India is a land, which has produced the mother of all music, and that is the classical music. The Carnatic and Tamil clay pots will produce such a music, that you can hardly imagine of. Even the bowl made of limestone of North-Western India is used to produce fabulous music. Suraj: - No, no, you are taking it otherwise, Arindam. Tuhina is not trying to compare Indian songs with Arabic songs. She just wanted to say that no matter, what is the nationality of an artist; we respect that artist for his or her great artistic quality. Pinaki: - Now, don’t underestimate the Arabic songs also. See, the best thing about these Pakistani bands is that they have not tried to copy the western rock bands, rather they infused the Sufi type or Arabic tunes in their song to make it their own Pakistani desi songs. Even, the bands of West Bengal and Bangladesh always come out with their innovative local tunes. Bands like Bhoomi of West Bengal and Miles of Bangladesh always rocks. It is good that, now MTV is going to form a totally desi rock band, where you will find the music of flutes, dholak and table also? Arrey, haan, how can you ignore the music of tabla? Arrey, hujur, baah tabla boliye…he he he…Also, I like the music played by Ravi Shankar too. Mainak: - Dhaath…I don’t like this boring classical music or that Sufi or Arabic style. I always love Dhinzaagh style songs…like the rap songs of Apache Indians. Just listen to their rap songs. It just rocks our body. Arindam: - Abbey, ghochu kumar, have you ever heard any tribal songs full of drumbeats and sound of trumpets? You will just start dancing automatically. Even, still today, there are some music used in Tollywood films of South India, where the actors have to dance with full energy. These music are like that only; it will make you dance. But, the point is that nowadays, our Bollywood industry is giving too many opportunities to Pakistani or Arabic singers, but do the Muslim countries really respect our music artists? I don’t think so. Tuhina: - Not all Pakistanis are terrorists. There are some khandaani or rewaaji Muslims, who have music in their blood. They just love music; no matter, you are Hindu or Muslim. Cinema halls of Pakistan earn around 61% of revenue due to Bollywood films only. But, the irony is that their ‘Sadaf’ company always comes out pirated VCDs and MP3 CDs to create problems for Indian market. Nowadays, you don’t need to buy any original Music CDs from Music World or Planet M, because Pakistani people have already created the pirated MP3 versions of it. Therefore, it indirectly proves that in their country also, people like to hear the Bollywood music. When A.R.Rahman got the Oscar award, even Pakistanis were overjoyed, because they are fans of his music. Arindam: - Babah, after hearing your lectures, one song is coming into my mind, ‘Iswar allah, tere jahan mein nafrat kyon hai, jung hai kyon’. Mainak: - Really, every artist should sing the song, ‘Geet gaata hoon main, goongoonata hoon main…isliye abhi sadaa muskuraata hoon main, as "MUSIC HAS NO BARRIERS".
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Posted on Nov 18, 2009 under General
Rajat: - Welcome to our institute. You are now going to start your training here for 7 days. In these 7 days, you will learn all the techniques and rules, to make you an efficient informer of our Intelligence Team. Shiva: - Sir, is it our permanent job? I mean to say that, will we get a fixed salary for this job? Rajat: - No, this is a part-time job. You will be working with our team on a contractual basis or in flexible mode. You will act as a backup for the entire team, without letting others know about it. You are like a shadow of our team, but having a great amount of impact for any major operations. Don’t worry about the money. If you can provide us right information at the right time, which will help us to avoid any major crisis, then money will not be a constraint for you. Many a times, you can get award from us too. Arindam: - Are we going to get any licensed revolver to protect ourselves from terrorists or anti-socials? Rajat: - No, not at all. Our Indian law does not permit that. But, there is no need to worry. I can understand that there will be situations where you people have to enter the areas of anti-socials and perform the job of a detective. They may attack you; it is quite possible. That is why; we will provide you these small gadgets. These gadgets look like small rings, but they have strong vibrating alarm system. You will wear this ring. See here, there is a small red button on this ring. When you will press it, automatically, our Special Encounter Team will know your location. Now, look at this ‘Ship’ matchbox. Inside this matchbox, there are no matchsticks. It contains a small rectangular device, known as ‘Danale’. Whenever you are in great danger, just press it and hide yourself in that anti-social area. Our team will gradually enter that area and start the encounter very peacefully. Mohan: - But, how will we get the confirmation about that? Rajat: - There is a small screen in that ‘Danale’ gadget. Can you see that? Just press the button of that gadget. See, here in my pocket, I am having the ‘Radan’ gadget, where I can see your latitude and longitudinal position and my gadget is vibrating with the red light on. That means I got the signal that you are in danger. Now, I just need to press the button of the ‘Radan’ button. Shiva: - Wow, it is displaying a message on the screen of ‘Danale’ gadget that, ‘Relax, we are coming.’ Rajat: - Don’t worry about it. Our Encounter team will always be in touch with you. Now, let me come to the decoding and encoding part. See, nowadays, terrorists are using software to hide their real message. For example, if a terrorist sends a mail to his entire gangmen with the title ‘DELHI’ and an attached .RAR file with it, then what will you understand from that. Arindam: - Very simple; the terrorists are planning to attack the Parliament House of Delhi and all their strategies and plans are provided in that .RAR file only. Rajat: - Ha ha ha. 96% people of the Police Department will think it that way only and they will put Delhi city on high alert. They will start focusing on Delhi only. However, the plans of the terrorists are totally different. Their plan may be to target Mumbai city and all the pictures of main spots of that city may be in that .RAR file only. Now, if the password to open that .RAR file is 0405120809, then you can surely encode it as ‘DELHI’. D comes at 4th position, followed by E in 5th position in English alphabet. Mohan: - Ok, that is encoding and decoding part. But, before we start proper decoding, we need to have a proper clue, otherwise it will fail. So, how we will get that information? Rajat: - It is a very silly but at the same time a good question too. How to get a clue? Lower level people from a rickshaw-puller to kaamwali bai, they have the real and authentic information. If you need to get success as a good informer of our Indian Intelligence team ,then you need to make friendship with them, motivate them by providing money, to grab the information about any people in any locality. Anyway, don’t take too much pressure on your first day only. Within the rest 6 days, you will get to know in details about this “INDIAN INTELLIGENCE INSTITUTE (THE THIRD EYE).”
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Posted on Nov 17, 2009 under General
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Posted on Nov 15, 2009 under General
Mohit: - It is very easy to calculate Beta by using SAS. You just need to extract the data of the returns of a security and the returns of the market. Then, it will automatically calculate the Beta, without any headache at all. Sanjana: - What is Beta? Arindam: - Beta is just a mathematical notation, which gives the result of the covariance of a security in respect to the market divided by the variance of the market. If the value of Beta is equal to or more than 1, then it is a very aggressive security, and if it is less that 1, then it is not so risky. But, if there is no risk, there is no gain at all. Pratibha: - But all of us don’t know SAS like Mohit. So, it is not so easy for us to calculate the Beta value. We can’t just be dependent on ‘PROWESS’ or ‘BLOOMBERG’ database to know the exact Beta value of a security. Mohit: - No, I think that you people can also calculate the Beta value by using MS-Excel. Just take the data of any security and the Nifty for say 180 days. Now, do the entries in the excel sheet. Sanjana: - babah, the data of 180 days ? Arindam: - Yeah, of course. It is all about trend analysis. If you don’t take a data for six months, your predicted calculation has no value at all. But, yes, in MS-Excel, it takes some time to calculate Beta. It is very easy to calculate it on SAS 9.1.3. Now, Mohit, after entering those data in the excel sheet, you are going to find out the daily returns right? Mohit: - Hmm…you are right. Just deduct the previous day closing price from the current price and find out the percentage of return. In an excel sheet, you just need to write its formula for once in a row and then drag it to the bottom. Every respective row will automatically calculate the percentage of daily returns. So, we have the daily returns of a security, denoted by Ri and of the Nifty, denoted by Rm. Pratibha: - Now we need to find out the mean value of Ri and Rm respectively. Say, the means are R and M respectively. So, the summation of the product of (Ri-R) and (Rm-M) divided by 179 will give us the covariance of the security with respect to Nifty. It is denoted by COV(Ri, Rm). Sanjana: - Wait, just hang on. Why have you divided that by 179? Pratibha: - See, in the excel sheet, when you are calculating the daily market returns and the security returns, the first row remains vacant. It starts from the second row only. For example, if your previous closing value and current closing value are in A2 and B2 respectively, then you will get the result of their returns in the C3 row, but not in the C2 row. That is why, we are dividing the summation of product (Ri-R)*(Rm-M) by N-1, that is 180-1=179. Arindam: - We will also divide the summation of (Rm-M)2 by N-1, that is by 179. Sanjana: - Why we are calculating the summation of (Rm-M)2 ? Mohit: - Very simple. We are just finding out the variance of the Nifty for those 179 days, denoted by Sm2. Arindam: - Just divide COV(Ri, Rm) by Sm2, you will get the value of Beta. So, you don’t need to depend on any database or any broker to tell you about the Beta value of a security. You can calculate it on our own, before investing money on it. It is not that an investor always abides by the Beta value of a security before investing money on a security. He also considers the P/E ratio and the last quarter balance sheets also. Mohit: - But, still as an investor, you can just have a rough idea about the nature of the security by calculating the Beta value. Then, you can apply this Beta value in CAPM model also to find out your expected returns. Sanjana: - Wow, I was not aware that before investing money on a security, you need to do these kinds of calculations. My father and elder brother are brokers of Stock Exchange. Since childhood, I believed that investing on share market is just like gambling, but it is not so. Pratibha: - Finance is a subject of probabilistic economics with a blend of socio-politics only. Anyway, today, we have learned how to calculate “BETA VALUE IN MS-EXCEL.”
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Posted on Nov 15, 2009 under General
Shaili: - Hello viewers, you are watching your favorite show “NDTV Animal Interview” and I am Shaili Chopra. Today, we are in front of a famous temple in the outskirts of Hyderabad city. Here, as you can see that villagers are celebrating ‘GAU MATAA’ Puja, that is the worship of cow. The name of this cow is Mohini. Hello, Mohini jee, so how are you feeling now? Mohini: - Well, I am feeling great. The villagers are really giving me good respect out here. Shaili: - But, why these Hindu people always give respect to a cow and worship them? They don’t worship any other animal. Mohini: - See, our Mother Nature has created us to serve the humans only. Every part of our body is useful for the humans. Even our shit, popularly known as ‘Gobar’ in India, is of utmost importance. These villagers have utilized it very efficiently to install Gobar Gas plants here in this village only. Shaili: - Yeah, that is true that a cow is a useful animal. How can we ignore the cow’s milk? Mohini: - See, God is great. I am just the avatar of God. God created me to provide milk to the humans. Today, I am proud to see that people of India have utilized our milk to such an extent, that the whole world praises about our dairy products. In Andhra Pradesh, the products of Vijaya Diary are very good, but I think that the best one is still the Amul products. Gujarat people should be proud of that. Shaili: - In Bihar, Jharkhand and West Bengal, cows have very good respect. Mohini: - Oh, yes, of course, especially in Bihar, we are treated like humans only. Even Laloo Prasad Yadav loves cows very much. The milk products of Bihar are not bad at all. We are also grateful to Ramprakash Mehra to show the ‘GAU MATAA’ puja in his film ‘Dilli 6’. Shaili: - This is only a brighter side of the story, where the Hindu people are respecting you as the avatar or God, but on the other hand, there are Muslims who always slaughter the cows. What you want to say about that? Mohini: - Yeah, Muslims are fond of red meats and their culture is still like the barbarians of medieval ages. Their psychology and lifestyle have not improved at all. I have no complaints against the ‘Khandaani’ Muslims, because they are modern and educated. They don’t like the slaughtering of animals also. But, the real problem lies with the other sections of the Muslims, who are uneducated and barbarians. That concept of ‘Halaal’ itself proves that they are like ‘Jallads’ only. If a cow does not die after their two and a half style of halaal technique, then they leave that cow in that condition only to die with sheer pain. Shaili:- But, whenever the Hindus have protested against the Muslims regarding the cow slaughtering issue, these Muslims have replied by saying that it is clearly mentioned in their Quran that a Muslim should always slaughter a cow during their Eid or Muharram festivals. Mohini: - It is absolutely false and baseless. Nowhere in the Quran, it is mentioned that a Muslim should slaughter a cow. It is those Maulvis, who have preached all these false things. Actually, in the time of Aurangzeb, the Muslims started to slaughter cows to intentionally hurt the sentiments of the Hindus, especially to the followers of Shivaji. I really hate these Muslims. These Muslims are also not aware of the fact that eating our meats causes many diseases for their body. Even Doctor also prescribes not to eat any red meats at all. You will find many peculiar and incurable diseases in Muslim community only, because they consume red meats. But for their diseases, the whole society has to suffer. Shaili: - What are the steps taken by the Hindu people all over the world to stop these kinds of cow slaughtering? Mohini: - Yeah, worldwide, the Hindus are protesting against it and it is a necessity also. We are grateful to VHP (Viswa Hindu Parishad) and RSS (Rastriya Swayamsevak Sangha) to take this initiative. On 15th November only, there is a ‘Gau Mata’ Puja festival at Nampally Exhibition Ground from 4.30 PM. You people can also attend that program to protest against cow slaughtering by the Muslims. Shaili: - The Indian Government should "BAN THE COW SLAUGHTERING" as early as possible.
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Posted on Nov 13, 2009 under General
Rupali: - Tomorrow, you are going for a picnic with your students, right? You are going to that Roychowk Baganbari. Listen to me; I will also go there, with my orphan and handicapped students. Arindam: - Arrey, who told you that I have planned for a picnic for my school students. Rupali: - Look my sweetheart, I am your wife. My network always follows your network. Now, it is final, my students are also going to the picnic tomorrow. Arindam: - Ok, I have no problem in that. But, remember one thing that my students are all from rich families and they are all naughty. Don’t underestimate them, as they are the students of Class IV, Section A. If they start mentally abusing your handicapped and orphan students, then I cannot do anything about that. Rupali: - Ok, that I will handle, you don’t need to worry about it. All your 25 students have given 100 bucks each for the picnic and the rest expenses will be taken care by you. For my students, I will bear the entire expense. ****************************
Paresh: - Sir, your wife is also a school teacher? Arindam: - Yes, she is a teacher in a Government school for orphan and handicapped students. Meenu: - Hey, look, we have reached the destination. It is the Roychowk Baganbari. Rupali: - Come on children; now it is time to get down from the bus. Don’t be in a hurry. Sujon: - Can anyone help me out? I cannot see the footboard. Kamalika: - Don’t worry, I will help you out to get down from this bus. Are you blind by birth? Sujon: - Yes, you are right. Your name is Kamalika, naah…really; you have a very sweet voice. I was listening to your voice, when you were singing some beautiful romantic songs, while playing Antakshari game inside the bus. Hey, Kamalika, have you seen the picture of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru? I have never seen his picture. I have heard that he used to love children so much that 14th November is celebrated as the Children’s Day. Ritesh: - Yes, you are right. This blind boy has good knowledge. Hi, I am Ritesh; nice to meet you. Meenu: - Chee chee, Ritesh, you don’t have any manners at all. You should not abuse any handicapped person. It is a crime. Arrey, look there, that guy has fallen from his chair. Let me help him out. Chirag: - Thanks a lot, Meenu. I am a lame boy. I have to rely on my wheel chair only. I want to go near that pond. Ramu Kaka is fishing there. Whatever fish he will catch, will become the menu of our lunch at this picnic. Rupali:- Arrey, Ramu Kaka, we already have chicken in our menu. Ramu Kaka: - All these little children requested me to catch fish from this pond. How can I reject their request? After all, I also love children. I have lost both my children. I gifted my daughter a scooty on her 18th birthday. She was thrashed by a SBSTC bus at Diamond Harbour Road and was spot dead there only. The CPI (M) goons killed my son of 26 years, as he was an active member of SUCI party at Kulpi area. My wife has become an emotional psycho patient after that. When I go back home, I can feel her pain, that is why, I have adopted an orphan girl. At least, my wife is very happy to look after her. Today, when I saw these little children, running after me and calling me Ramu Kaka, I cannot control my emotions. Someone rightly said that Children are like Gods only. Arindam: - Really, I am impressed with your students, Rupali. They are so down-to-earth and at this age only, they have understood the basic things of life. Rupali: - Your students are not bad also. They may belong to rich families, but their mind is so innocent and sweet that they are helping all my students at every point of time. Meenu: - Sir, we are grateful to you. I will not forget this day. Look here, Chirag is a very good painter. He has drawn my picture in this paper. This is one of the fabulous gifts I have ever received.
Ramu Kaka:- Every year, you people should visit this place to celebrate "HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY".
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Posted on Nov 13, 2009 under General
Yamraaj: - Why have you committed suicide? What compelled you to do that? You ate a rat poison to kill yourself. Do you think that it was the easiest way to die? Savita: - No, it was not easy at all. It is very difficult to kill yourself. After eating that rat poison, when I was feeling that I am going to die, I was shouting for help, but it was too late for me. Yamraaj: - Yes, of course, it is very difficult to kill yourself. However, boss, it is a sin to commit suicide. You will get a severe punishment for that in this hell only. You were a widow. Do you have any kids? Savita: - My husband’s name was Arindam. Before marriage, the blood test report was ok. When I gave birth to our little girl Nisha, we found that Nisha is a HIV positive patient. The doctor confirmed that Arindam has AIDS and I am the victim of that disease also. Yamraaj: - Hmm, that’s a real problem. Your hubby may have visited some restricted areas. He forgot to use proper protections at those times. Was he not satisfied with you? Men will be always Men, can’t help it, he he he. Anyway, where have you kept your Nisha? Savita: - Well, she is studying in a Rehabilitation center, where all the orphans, children of sex workers and AIDS affected children lives. Yamraaj: - NGO people are very supportive in these cases. Have they not helped you? Savita: - Not all NGO workers are good. There also; politics play the major role. If you are a supporter of a political party, which is not in power in that State, then you will hardly get any support from them. I was working as a sweeper for the Municipal Corporation. My duty was in the morning hours from 5.30 AM to 6.30 AM. I also used to do some tailoring works in our locality. One day, the people of my locality came to know that I have AIDS. The dilemma started from there only. They started abusing me by stating bad words to me. Even, they told me to leave that colony immediately. Everyone started hating me. But, what is my fault? I am not a sex worker, but still people mentally abused me. The Indian Government has not taken any initiative to preach the simple thing that AIDS is not a contaminated disease. The slum dwellers and the people living in the colonies of this city believe that AIDS disease can spread due to contamination. As a girl of a good family, I never dreamt of living a life like an animal. All these humiliations compelled me to commit suicide. Yamraaj: - Hmm, it was a real problem for you, but instead of fighting against them, you killed yourself like a coward. Anyway, you will be shifted to our special cell, where your soul will undergo a good and healthy training, so that in your next birth, you will not commit suicide anymore. Savita: - Rebirth? Wow, that’s great. That means, my hubby Arindam has also taken a re-birth. Please Yamraaj ji; give me the re-birth. I want to become the wife of Arindam again in this birth. Where is my Arindam? Yamraaj: - Oh! You loved your hubby so blindly. You are such a foolish woman. Anyway, 3 months ago, your Arindam has been given the re-birth. Look at this terminal screen, your Arindam has taken re-birth as a Royal Bengal Tiger in Sundarban Jungle. Her mother’s name is Mohini, the dangerous tigress. Can you see your Arindam now? He is just a 3 months old baby tiger, playing with his sisters. In this birth, the forest officials have given his name as Maharaj. But, I am sorry, Savita. As you have committed suicide, so, as per our law, you will be given the re-birth as a human being and that too as a woman, because, your soul committed a sin. Don’t you understand, how much painful it is for us, to create a figure of a woman. It needs lot of research with proper calculations to create a beautiful body of a woman and you are just killing it. Anyway, meet this male soul. His name is Mahesh. He committed suicide yesterday, as his beloved woman got married to her office boss. Mahesh will also take re-birth as a man. In this birth, he may become your husband, but not your’s Arindam of previous birth. Mahesh: - Hello Savita, I am Mahesh. Our soul will undergo this training together, after all; “COMMITTING SUICIDE IS A SIN.”
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Posted on Nov 12, 2009 under General
Mitali: - Almost every day, I see you standing in front of that Marwari shop and eating the Haryana jalebis from a food stall. Satyi, Arindam daa, roj roj etoh misti kheyo naa, diabetes hoye jaabey jeh…
Bharadwaj: - Yes, you should control your habit of eating sweets every day.
Arindam: - Arrey, the price of jalebis are only 30 bucks per kilo. Every day, I eat jalebis of 5 bucks and that too of kadak style, that means the jalebis are very thin and crispy in size.
Bharadwaj: - sahi mein, tum bangalee log kitna sweets khatey ho yaar.But, still nothing happens to you people.
Mitali: - Hey, Pankaj, just keep your mouth shut. Don’t start criticizing about our Bengali people.
Arindam: - le halua, now I don’t fight for this silly reason.
Bharadwaj: - arrey, yeh toh roj ki baath hain. I am born and brought up in Jaipur. When I say something to her about our Jaipur and the culture of Rajasthan, she starts quarrelling and starts telling me about his Bengal. Really, Bengal is a crazy place. People are always gossiping, eating sweets, samosas and egg rolls. They even fight with each other at Salt Lake Stadium, while watching the football match between Mohun Bagan and East Bengal.
Arindam: - ha ha ha…yeah, that is true. You may not be satisfied in your professional life, but your personal life will always rock, if you are in Bengal, but provided that you have not become a prey of that bloody CPI(M) party members. Ei , Mitali, ebaar naaki, CPI(M) matro ekta seat peyeche; satyi naaki?
Mitali: - haan satyi, TMC hoyto power e teh chole asbey 2011 saaley.
Bharadwaj: - Arrey, what are you people speaking in Bengali? I don’t understand anything. Uff, these Bengali girls are always in a quarrelling mood and they are very active in politics also.
Arindam: - But, one thing you must appreciate that Bengali girls are the most caring in nature and they are sweet too. If you ask anyone in India, they will give the first ranking to a Bengali girl and then to a Mallu girl. Whether you agree or not, but the real fact is that, we the Bengali people do not like spicy foods. We love sweets and we have an entirely different type of dishes, which is liked by all. Ghotis, the people of undivided Bengal used to cook foods with less spice. Their favorite dish is still the Chingri Malai Curry. After the partition of Bengal, the people of East Bengal came and settled in Kolkata. They are expert in cooking spicy foods and as a Ghoti, I also like those delicious Bangaal dishes like Hilsha Curry and many others. If I get a good girl of East Bengal, who knows how to cook those lovely dishes, I will marry her. It hardly matters, that I am a Ghoti, he he he…
Mitali: - Satyi, Arindam daa…ebaarey ekta biye koreyi falo aar misti taa kam khaao…ki teley oi jilipi bhajchey…kono thik achey…
Bharadwaj: - uff, you Bengali people have a very bad habit. If you find another person, who is a Bengali, you people just start gossiping in Bengali with such an excitement and joy…really, you people love your mother tongue too much.
Arindam: - Bhai Pankaj; Bengali is the 3rd sweetest language of the world, after Urdu and French. It is the mother tongue of Rabindranath Tagore and Bankimchandra Chattopadhay. One upon a time, Bankimchandra did not even read a letter from his Bengali friend, because it was written in English. Bengali people always consumes 23% more sweets on a weekly basis than any other non-Bengali people, but still the numbers of diabetic patients are less in Bengal. It is because of the only reason that in our sweets, we use only milk, whereas in the sweets of north-western India, they use lots of pure Ghee. This pure ghee is more deadly than the sugar used in any sweets. Ghee helps in increasing cholesterol and sugar level of your body also. Since childhood, Bengali people are immune to sweets. There are even people who have a bad habit of eating sweets after their dinner. Without eating the sweet, they cannot go to sleep.
Mitali: - My uncle has that bad habit also. I always steal sweets from his refrigerator, jethu kichu bujhtey paarey naa.
Arindam: - tor jethu sab ee bujhtey paarey…tokey bhalobashey toh, tai kichu boley naa...so, Pankaj, you must appreciate that “BENGALI PEOPLE HAVE THE SWEETEST BLOOD."
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